So long story short, I’m back on the shit I’ve came so far to stop using, went to jail and rehab and still couldn’t get back right , Methamphetamines, yup it’s the devil honestly. It’s becoming so hard to even go a day with out it seems like it’s gotta always be by my side for me to function every day, I used to be extremely out of it years ago when I first began this sick roller coaster of a drug. I am no where near as that person anymore but I am not making good choices for myself , my future , and my motivation to be good has became little to none being as that I go through one little thing that’s impacting to me and bam fuck this I’m using. Just I can have my mind ina. Good spot on becoming sober and sticking to my guns this time and blah blah blah but go through something the slightest bit impacting and my whole mind state changes, like fuck this I’m using idgaf about nothing or what I said before I am just gonna use and ain’t shit gonna stop me . Just excuses after excuses and it’s tiring and I’m tired, sick and tired , of being sick and tired . How can I keep this sober thing on a roll and why is it so hard being as if meth ain’t even a naturally like addicting substance like dope would be where you actually crave it and get sick without it , I should be able to not think about it as much as I do when I try to stop and not use cause there’s nothing really physically happening to me trying to stay clean, it’s all a mental thing. I just wanna be good and get sober for good I really want the best for myself and be the best me period .
I wish all the best for you too , keep working at it 
That’s really not what I heard.
Anyway welcome Karina and good on you for wanting to change. What are you doing so far to get sober apart from just trying to not use? Cos that’s mostly not enough, you know.
They say: Change people places and things.
The place I would start if I was you would be NA. Have you tried that?
Best of luck.
Hey, glad you are here! I would get into NA if you haven’t already. Just walk in and take a seat. You can’t do this alone, and really it’s so much better to have people that understand to lean on.
I need na I think
Thank you very much I’ve tried everything but my life keeps crawling back somtimes nd just not being able to change all my people places nd things has been really hard with staying sober to idk what to do reallu
What have you tried?
Sometimes it can feel like we’re out of options, but a clear assessment can show that we’re just overwhelmed and don’t have a clear plan of what options we actually do have and what following them would look like.
That’s why I sent the resources above. You can go through them, get an overview, make a plan of what you will try. Trying also means giving it a real effort. All the recovery books in the world will not help if you don’t take the messages to heart and apply them to yourself. Beginning a daily yoga and meditation practice will not help if you don’t block your dealer’s number. Etc.
You say you have not done NA. Well that’s kind of the biggest option you have so that should provide a big change to your approach and give you the best chances to get your recovery going.
Check in with the ppl here a lot. There is a lot of wisdom and experience combined on these pages. Ppl will support you.
Are you a spiritual person? Its your self-will thats causing you to relapse. You give yoᴜʀsᴇʟғ a gʀᴇᴇɴ light ᴇᴠᴇʀʏ time you use. You have to give up that liberty. I have the same problem. I have to ACCEPT that i am powerʟᴇss over meth, that each time i usᴇ it is an act of self destruction; and God doesnt like that very much. Suicide is against Gods wishes whetheʀ commited slowly or quickly. Let go of your control and give it to your higher power. Try to defeat a craving or urge- they most times soon pass- then youll start seeing sᴛʀᴇɴɢʜ ᴀɴᴅ ᴀᴄᴄᴏᴍʟɪsʜᴍᴇɴᴛ. Iᴛs ʜᴀʀᴅ. Bᴜᴛ ʀᴇᴘʟᴀᴄᴇ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴀᴅᴅɪᴄᴛɪᴏɴ ʜᴀʙɪᴛ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʜᴇᴀʟᴛʜʏ ʜᴀʙɪᴛs. Dᴏ ʏᴏᴜʀ ʀᴇᴄᴏᴠᴇʀʏ ᴍᴀᴛᴇʀɪᴀʟ ᴇᴠᴇʀʏᴅᴀʏ ᴇᴠᴇɴ ᴛʜᴏᴜɢʜ ʏᴏᴜʀᴇ sᴛɪʟʟ ᴜsɪɴɢ. Aɴᴀʟʏᴢᴇ ɪᴛ. Fɪɴᴅ ᴏᴜᴛ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴏᴜʟᴅᴠᴇ ᴅᴏɴᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ᴅᴏ ɪᴛ. Iᴛʟʟ ᴡᴏʀᴋ ɢʀᴀᴅᴜᴀʟʟʏ. Lᴏᴠᴇ ʏᴏᴜʀsᴇʟғ ᴀɴᴅ ʙᴇᴄᴏᴍᴇ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴏᴡɴ ғʀɪᴇɴᴅ. Aʟᴡᴀʏs ᴋᴇᴇᴘ ᴛʀʏɪɴɢ. Nᴇᴠᴇʀ ɢɪᴠᴇ ᴜᴘ. Sᴛᴀʏ ʜᴏɴᴇsᴛ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʏᴏᴜʀsᴇʟғ ᴀɴᴅ ғᴏʀɢɪᴠᴇ ʏᴏᴜʀsᴇʟғ. Gᴏᴅ ʙʟᴇss…
I really appreciate all y’all nd your help is so so so helpful
You’ve got a really good insight into what’s happening here, when you say that you’re doing ok with staying sober but then when something happens that impacts you them “bam” you’re back using…
This is addiction at work… Addiction is a cunning thing and it will work every angle to get you to use… As soon as there is the smallest chink in your armour the addictive voice will use it to get it’s foot in the door and get you to use.
If it wasn’t a bad situation that was impacting you, the addictive voice would use a good situation (such as a celebration, or a party or something else) as a reason to try to force it’s way back in.
Recognising that this is what’s happening is amazing, you need to use this to your advantage and be ready for when the addictive voice starts working on you … be ready for it and tell it to get lost and shut up, don’t barter with it or give it any power. Just tell it to shut up, don’t give it any real estate in your head. You may need to shut it up very frequently at first, but it’s strength will reduce over time.