Welcome!! There are a few of us here who have partners that still drink. It adds a bit more complexity to our quest for sobriety, but we can and do get sober in a home with someone who still drinks.
For myself, one of the more important things I had to truly learn and get was that my drinking was 100% my responsibility …it didn’t matter if I was at a party where others were drinking, if I was bummed out and wanted to drown my sorrows, if I was happy and wanting to celebrate, if I was sitting next to someone on the couch chugging their drink of choice…whether or not I drank was up to me and me alone. Sure, it would be a wee bit easier not having to see smell or look at alcohol, but this is my reality, so I work with the cards I have.
For the longest time I just could not get sober because of his drinking. Or so I thought. My drinking is mine. His drinking is his. Your partner may or may not be supportive, they may or may not learn and grow with you on this journey, they may or may not keep drinking, they may or may not sabotage you…in the end, always, each moment…whether I drink or not is up to no one…absolutely no one but me. Whoosh…that was HUGE to get.
I won’t sugar coat it, it was effin hard not to drink around a drinking person. I put myself to bed early A LOT…a luxury and a privilege believe me I know. I took a lot of fitness classes at evenings out of the house back when that was a thing…bike rides on weekends or walks or runs or yoga or baths or reading, sleeping, crying, avoiding, sitting on this app all day…whatever it took to keep myself from drinking.
My partner did not understand anything about my alcohol issue in the beginning. They understand more now and still 4 plus years later of my own sobriety they still drink, sometimes heavily. And I still do not drink. Is it ideal? No. But I love and respect my partner. They are kind, trustworthy, loving, respectful, a truly good human…probably the most honest and principled person I have ever met. I often say only YOU know the heart of your relationship and that is vital with a partner who drinks. At least in my mind.
Anyway…that was a long rambling reply. Over the years this question is raised frequently, so I put together some links to threads which discuss a partner who drinks…maybe you will find some inspiration or insight there. I hope so!
Getting sober in a drinking home can be done. It might not be easy or pretty or comfortable, but it is do able.
Your idea to check in here daily is SPOT ON. This place was and is instrumental for me for support, sobriety and community.