I made drinking a big part of my personality at work and I’m not sure how to separate myself from my “I need a drink after today” persona (for added context, im a first responder). I want to know if there is a subtle way of letting my coworkers know that I’m not doing the drinking thing anymore? Of course I still want to joke around with them and make the usual comments after a stressful situation like “oh man, I’m gonna need a drink after this shift, lol!”
I feel like this is one of those things that has tripped me up in the past. When the joke went a little too far and I ended up drinking after work - granted, I was being safe and in my own apartment, alone and I didn’t over do it to the point where I was hung over. Just like a beer or 2 after a long day. I think there is a way to separate the drinking personality type from the sober personality type.
I don’t want to come out and directly say “hey, I’m not doing the drinking thing anymore. I’d appreciate it if we didn’t talk about this or joke about it”
I’ve drank a lot, and I got way too drunk before one of my shifts (Wednesday the 9th) after being newly promoted and assigned to the midnight shift. I thought I could go and hang out with the day shift crew and still be fine. Spoiler, I was not. My boss told me not to come into work because he knew I had been drinking. The hangover was horrible. I knew then that I needed to clean my ish up for real this time. I had scared myself in the past and tried the sober thing, it last about 2 or so weeks, then I went back to casual drinking. I’m kind of used to going to work with a mild hangover. But I knew that I was probably starting a downward spiral and I am trying to stop it and the first thing that came to mind was to cut the alcohol out; so I can get the rest of my life sorted and gain some balance back.
Ah yes, I remember you sharing that story on here earlier, it just didn’t really match with this:
Anyway, if you ended up getting too drunk to show up for a work shift, chances are that the cat is already out of the bag and all your colleagues know you cannot handle your liquor. That should make sticking to your planned sobriety a lot easier, no? Everyone will know and understand why it’s imperative that you don’t drink.
I’m mean, you are right. They practically know that I can’t handle my drinks, but no one has really said “hey maybe you should slow down or not come to the few outings we do have”. We all still continue to joke about drinking, and my shenanigans from past events and all, but I want to know the best way to work the I’m sober into the conversation so that they know I’m actually being serious about it. I already have a plan set up to not go to the outings anymore, so I am not tempted by myself or peer pressure (the big bosses love buying good Tequila shots - at least 2-3 rounds of them), how can you say no to the big bosses? Sorry, can’t go, I’m sleeping before my shift! - excuse. I know that once I start drinking, I forget that the word No, exists and I just go along with whatever is happening. I know I can’t go to those events because it’ll end up the same every time.
Your sobriety can unfold however you want it to, and as long as you know you want it start walking and talking that direction.
If it isn’t something you are feeling okay talking about tell your co-workers you are on a new medicine and can’t drink. Antibiotics are a good one for this. Maybe you had a fake UTI. That can evolve over time to telling people you like how you feel without alcohol and are going to abstain for a while.
While you are working this out you can shift your jokes, I’m going to need a:
long walk, whole bag of chips, extra chocolate bar, extra TV episode or 10 extra pushups. The cool thing here is that you are verbalizing to yourself and talking out new coping mechanisms.
I had a running list of excuses in early sobriety. It is okay to tell people what they want to hear for a while while you sort out sober you.
Or, you bravely say, “guys I really overdid it on Wednesday the 9th, I’m going to leave alcohol alone for a while. Has anyone tried that”. Chances are if you are in a scenario where people joke about alcohol there are other people who think they have a problem with alcohol too. Maybe you start a trend or lead the way.
Whatever you choose, congratulations on not drinking. Alcohol really is a progressive disease. Your drinking problems get bigger as your drinking problem gets bigger.
I mean there are other ways to make jokes after a stressful day… drinking doesnt have to be one of them, and you dont need to say anything about not drinking. Usually people arent that excited to hear about your drinking stories as you might think. And im sure not to many are gonna care if you just dont bring it up. Nobody has to no we dont drink but us. The its nice having sober supports but the only one who needs to support you not drinking, is you. Find another hobby and use that as a joke. Like me ive taken up riding an electric unicyle. After a shitty day im like hell yeah time to go hit some jumps on the one wheel lol
