Walking down the street with a parrot.
Feeling kinda low so I swallowed a carrot.
Not a few but a bunch. Bit one and it screamed out with a crunch.
Looky looky looky see ain’t no punk like @Englishd.
Not meant to be mean.
Not meant to be a dis.
If it were I’d just call you Chris.
Speaking of crunch, just look at this bunch.
Buncha old dudes in bed before brunch.
You call me a punk, but you stuck in this funk.
Keep my name out my mouth and your ass in the south.
Today’s? Put a fresh taste in a mouth
Like toothpaste and when the truth’s
blezed, there’s no mistaken there
Since sober’s salutes phase
Left everyone amazed by the grace
Of a healthy face in the upper class’ brains
Say no to weed
Just climb back into bed
Ain’t no one listening D
To what you just said
Your rhymes are like lead
I love ya man but
You a washed up crack head
Look at this a regular slim shady
The man thinks he’s got rhymes
But really he just sounds like a baby
I’d like say some more, I just ain’t got the time
Say no to weed
Days go we proceed
Veins ain’t gonna slow bleed
Chicks forever in need
That d stands like a steed
Glass broken, relieved
Speak up? Feel free
I may have missed a meeting.
While you at home skeeting.
Running around trying to get your heart beating.
Try a bike you bleat.
Bitch to everyone cause your ass hurts cause you rode it without a seat.
Since the old times
It seemed I loved rhymes
Many created and I chose mine
And the fault’s fine
Recreational bomb line
Like a front row of a plane stride
ya all talking crap with your smack and your crack dissin on weed and the shit that you bleed, keep it clean not mean obscene unclean do serine, got more hope of a rap with the pope than gettin a high off a line full of coke, not playing your game your mind is insane with pain so lame get in the fast lane, it’s TS and I’m here to tame.
What’s the deal with the carrots, man?
Please tell me, wise Brown’s fan.
I think I missed out on the joke.
Unless I’m the only one not on coke.
Gabe says celery is where it’s at.
I can dig that, it won’t make me fat.
I better bring this awful rap to an end.
I have to go cook chicken with carrots, my friend.
Well that was awful. But I tried 
It was alright
Certainly didn’t make my brain fry
These rhymes they can fly
Don’t feel discouraged my friend
It’s alright 
Now, this is a story all about how
My life got flipped-turned upside down
And I’d like to take a minute
Just sit right there
I’ll tell you how I became the prince of a town called Bel Air
In west Philadelphia born and raised
On the playground was where I spent most of my days
Chillin’ out maxin’ relaxin’ all cool
And all shootin some b-ball outside of the school
When a couple of guys who were up to no good
Started making trouble in my neighborhood
I got in one little fight and my mom got scared
She said ‘You’re movin’ with your auntie and uncle in Bel Air’
I begged and pleaded with her day after day
But she packed my suit case and sent me on my way
She gave me a kiss and then she gave me my ticket.
I put my Walkman on and said, ‘I might as well kick it’.
First class, yo this is bad
Drinking orange juice out of a champagne glass.
Is this what the people of Bel-Air living like?
Hmm this might be alright.
But wait I hear they’re prissy, bourgeois, all that
Is this the type of place that they just send this cool cat?
I don’t think so
I’ll see when I get there
I hope they’re prepared for the prince of Bel-Air
Well, the plane landed and when I came out
There was a dude who looked like a cop standing there with my name out
I ain’t trying to get arrested yet
I just got here
I sprang with the quickness like lightning, disappeared
I whistled for a cab and when it came near
The license plate said fresh and it had dice in the mirror
If anything I could say that this cab was rare
But I thought ‘Nah, forget it’ - ‘Yo, homes to Bel Air’
I pulled up to the house about seven or eigth
And I yelled to the cabbie ‘Yo homes smell ya later’
I looked at my kingdom
I was finally there
To sit on my throne as the Prince of Bel Air
Greasing, releasing, all together piecing.
Mixing the batter using the milk and the yolks. Folks be getting mad at my silly ass jokes.
A Finn who trying to act mean. Running like a Ethiopian just trying to get lean.
He runs and he runs and he bikes and he bikes. Mean mfer never giving likes.
Shortest lawyer known to man. In order to be seen he stands on a can. With his fly hooptie he sets on cruise. Ah it’s just D from Syracuse.
Is she real? Is she fake? Definitely a weenie roast and not a clam bake…
man your flows are like gravy don’t cease to amaze me and I’m raisin a toast to your sweet weenie roast don’t wanna do battle my words too brittle can’t compete with a dude that’ll fry chicken little.
I think @Dolse71 is winning this battle. @Salty, that was actually spot fucking on! Honorable mention for you!
Salty Chicks was good. My vote
Eyo breezy…
bitches you be trippin, you be slipping if you thinkin you be rippin up a rappin battle better than LaPage…
An’ you thinkin you be better, you be thinkin you be clever, you be thinkin you the rapper of the age,
I’m gonna read em all, i read all o’ ya syllables; you silly boys and girls, you gonna sit there n repeat em all,
Whose rappin next, whose gonna try and leave us vexed; is it derek? Does he reckon he beckoning and repping AA besssssasst?
so it’s mornin just finished snorin ain’t even got time to get a yawn in and here’s la page spitting with rage, you in my bedroom in my headroom got a dick like a button mushroom, don’t come round here tryin to keep a beat down you think your IT yeah like a clown, so show us what you can do instead of acting like rambo, you drew first blood now your like I’m sober give me a hug, yeah I’m bitchin cos I’m now in the kitchen workin people like you just sit there jerkin, lurkin tryin to get a word in, not waitin for your reply like I’m the host not even gonna read your post.
OOOOOHHHHH !!! No way!