Turns out drinking & using still doesn't work 🤔 Day 1 it is what it is

Relapses
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I guess I’m here reintroducing myself. I’m back from a couple months or so of fuckin up. I was doing so well working a 12 step program of N.A. & also participate in A.A. but I threw it all away for no reason. It doesn’t take a bad or good situation for me to use I just do off the fly and don’t use the tools I learned to stay stopped the main one is making the phone call for me. Anyways its all my doing I know what I need to do I just need to get back on board. I spoke to my sponsor last night telling him I’m ready to try and stop but it is a nightmare getting clean of Meth mentally more than physical but the fatigue does hit me heavy for awhile I gotta get over this hump of getting clean again it’s the hardest part for me the first 2 weeks. It’s crazy seeing some of my old posts like wtf someone drank the Kool aid :joy: working a honest 12 step program does work if you work it for reals. Damn though it’s so hard to even want to try when you’re so caught up in the bullshit. Fuck this shit though I think it’s time to get my head out my ass again. I guess my actions will show if I’m truly willing. Everyone out there in the struggle, it’s so hard I know. There truly is another way to live if you put the work in. Stay up all I got work in 2 hours and haven’t slept haha :v:

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It is hard to get back on the sober horse but you can do it! Like you said, the first two weeks are the worst, just keep your head down and get through them. And get back to that 12 step program that was working for you. I am glad you have a sponsor and are being proactive. :purple_heart:

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Thanks for the encouragement :pray:

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Hey you’re still here lol. Thank you :pray:

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Welcome back Anthony

Don’t try, do! By saying you’ll try, you take away some of the responsibility and that gives leeway to that addict voice.

That is a most accurate description :wink:

But will they show others or yourself?
Proving others that we can do it is fantastic. But proving ourselves? :pinched_fingers: that’s gotta be one of the best feelings there is.

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Welcome back :slight_smile: im glad uv made some realizations. Get back to those meetings and stay connected.

What does this involve? What can you add or subtract from your life to gain recovery?
I often found myself realizing over time (after many, many relapses) that completely letting go of everything related to my past was crucial. Dealers numbers, certain areas of the city, people. In the past, I usually always had some sort of a connection “just in case” for all those “what if” moments. I cant have any reservations in recovery. I have to be all in. And I really needed to make it difficult for me to pick up. Are there things in ur life currently thar need to change for u to see success in recovery? Just thot id throw out some questions for things to think about :slight_smile: im glad ur back trying this again!

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I’ma selfish, self centered SOB it’s all for me and no one else

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Honestly no it’s all self will in the end. It’s either I want to use ir i don’t. For me temptation is everywhere when I learned I don’t need a dealer that’s when shit really hit the fan. IDK but what I do know is the 12 steps as repetitive as it all is it works. I guess repeating that is better than the insanity. Im just gonna do this thing one day at a time. Thanks for the support

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That’s the spirit!

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Welcome back. I remember you being a very positive and supportive voice on here. Jump right back into getting better at being better. I’m glad you’re trying again. Sending a hug to get you back into a place of strength. :heart:

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Thank you. Yes I remember you to. I am jumpin back in hit A.A. netting today after work. Tomorrow I’ll hit another A.A. after work, then a N.A. meeting later. Gotta rewire my thinking again lol. I’m grateful to have the will to try again God knows I have the ability to give it all up and just want to die in the streets. “Not today Satan!” Lol. I’ll be seeing you :hugs:

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Welp I have 9 days today and I feel great for today the first 5 days were absolutely terrible but I pushed through. I wasn’t able to get past 4 days for awhile. But here I am gettin ready to go to a N.A. Halloween speaker/party meeting tonight. The nightmares are fairly heavy here and there but in the end I’m clean and I’m grateful for that. Im talking to my sponsor on a daily basis, getting into the literature, and going to be working step one again soon. Thank you for asking. I hope you are doing well too :relaxed:

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