I am so emotionless yet filled with too many emotions.
Just reaching out… I don’t know…
You know that song by the Beatles “HELP”
That just keeps replaying in my head…
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Howdy. Welcome back. I am here to hear if you need to vent in more detail.
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22 days? Am presuming that’s 22 days giving alcohol a miss, if so, it’s a target for me! (Nb. Best I’ve done to date, has been 11 days, will be doing myself a favour by taking a break.
And help? I’ve found it can help to focus on the basics whether that’s work, home, fitness, or whatever one’s involved in, can provide a bit of a focus/purpose.
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Hey friend 
It’s good to see you. Sounds like you’ve been through hell and back.
I love that Beatles song. One of the lines is “Now I find I’ve changed my mind, I’ve opened up the doors”. That feels important to me.
It sounds like you’ve changed your mind, and you’re open to a new path. Your heart thinks of this song because your heart wants to connect; you’ve been locked in your addiction for so long and you want to be free from it, but you can’t do it by yourself.
Have you done an inpatient rehab? Somewhere to get your feet on the ground and get clear.
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Have you ever gone to see a counsellor? I do. It helps me to understand the intense waves of emotions that hit me. Without my counsellor I wouldn’t have gotten to where I am. I still do my twelve step work but the counsellor helps me dig deep.
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