I am now two weeks sober, and although still very early in sobriety, I thought I’d share some additional experiences? Revelations? That I’ve had thus far.
- I think my sleep is more or less regulated now, even though I still feel exhausted, I’m sleeping through the night, finally.
- I’ve had two people ask me if I was pregnant (which I’m really sensitive to because I’m fat lol) and when I said no, they said they were asking because I was glowing.
- I have found that I’m making more connections with my colleagues at work. My attitude has been more positive. So, instead of sitting there in silence judging them and loathing them, I reach out and offer a listening ear or ask if they need help with anything.
- My supervisor said that even though I’ve been submitting superb work since I started last November, everyone has been commenting and saying how upbeat I’ve been (guess I was a grouch before haha)
- I feel like I’m finally used to the fact that I don’t come home and immediately pour a drink. Because I’m used to having something in my hand, I will pour a glass of ice water and chug that. I’ve also had the occasional coke or root beer for something sweet, since those were my mixers of choice, and damn…they taste weird without liquor in them haha
- I do think my overall mood has improved. I was definitely really grouchy and cranky my first week, but I feel more mellow. I still have the occasional “oh, I can just make a drink tonight” thought, but then I come on this app and update myself with the shenanigans that happen regularly and the thought goes away.
- I have finally settled on a program: the refuge recovery. I feel so at ease working through the first couple of inventories in the book. I feel like I’ve learned so much about myself. I see how I’ve been holding on to anger and resentment for the past 20 years and the only person it has caused damage to for that amount of time has been me. I also see how I’ve wronged others, mainly when I was in undergrad, because once I got to graduate school, I got really good at hiding it. I’m 26 now, and for the first time in a while, I feel like everything will be okay, as long as I maintain my sobriety.
- I’ve started working through some of the shit I did while an active user, and man, I was not a nice person. I thought I was the best thing out there too. But, reflecting back on those times, I was just full of myself and miserable. I’m happy those people walked out of my life, they have good, healthy boundaries. It wasn’t a wake up call for me, but I’ve started with discussing my wrongs with my best friend and I’m slightly embarrassed doing so, but I can feel in my gut that it’s the right thing to do.
- I haven’t done anything social yet, as I know I don’t have the complete willpower to say “no”. I’ve told a couple of friends about my sobriety journey and they are no longer inviting me places (funny how that works), so I need to make new friends which is fine because I don’t have any friends here anyway.
- I signed up for my first volunteer event since moving to Portland, almost 2 years ago. I will be an “urban farmer” on Saturday! Haha I also have been looking into places to do more stable volunteer work. I’ve been submitting job applications daily so I can have something closer to home so I can really focus on myself.
I just wanted to thank everyone again. This app has been life changing. You all help me stay accountable whether in real life or my dreams. I feel so fortunate to be where I’m at today. And since I’m still a baby in terms of length of sobriety, I figured I’d share a picture of little Trinity haha
️ and I’ll keep that mantra playing in my head, I like that!