Last night I drank too much and made a fool of my self and my guy. I feel ashamed and can’t stop sobbing! I’m at work hiding in my cubicle. I called a fellow alcoholic and we are meeting tonight at 530 for an AA meeting. I can’t wait. I want today to end!
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Good for you for getting to a meeting. But at the same time don’t beat yourself up about last night. That’s not to say that it isn’t a big deal but there isn’t much you can do about it now. You can of course apologize to your guy for embarrassing him but you can’t change the events. Remember this…
So let go of last night and don’t fret what may come later…just stay sober right now and get yourself to that meeting.
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Thank you for your kind words. I’m going to try to let it go. Concentrate on work and getting to the meeting and not drinking today. I know tomorrow is a new day and I’m thankful it’s a weekend so I can hold my loved ones close and be sober and present.
I remember that feeling of wanting the day to end and telling myself never again…so long as I can get through this day. Then I would do it again. A day here, a day there. Eventually the wasted days add up to significant time.
Good that you are planning to go to a meeting.
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Commit to this being the last day you ever have to feel this way. I know I had my share of days like that, over the many years. Days where my wife was just a bit cold in the morning. Now, I wasn’t one to get all loud, break stuff, or threaten. I did my drinking at home, so no “come get your husband at such and such” or stumbling in late at night. No. My shame came from the fact that another night had passed, and I’d checked out. I didn’t want to participate in home-life. Left it to my bride to carry the full load. Damn shameful of me.
131 days since the last time I woke up and my first thought was “I did it again”. 131 days since I last had to apologize for checking out. 131 days since the last time I had to promise to try to quit, for all of our sake.
I won’t go back there. No one can make me go back there. I won’t put myself in that position, ever again.
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Damn dude. It’s been a while since I seen your numbers. I think the last time was 90 something. 131 looks good!
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Thank you for your wonderful advice it really made me think and aspire. Appreciate it.
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