I feel so alone I couldn’t pay someone to be my friend lol I dont get it
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You have friends here. What’s going on, @AmberRae ?
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I have felt exactly the same. I currently do not have any friends or relationship that I see in person on a regular basis. I have made friends through meetings. The meet up app I am currently exploring. I found a group of people that meet for disc golf that I really enjoy. None of them drink but some smoke weed. I just don’t participate in that. I’m also looking into spiritual groups, such as church. I feel my drinking is because I am not spiritually fit. I tend to isolate. That is not helpful and might take me back to drinking. I’ve only been sober for 6 days so, what do I know. I have put together long periods of sobriety in the past. I have learned that I have to get out of the house, or I wind up thinking too much. I wish you the best. You definitely have like minded friends here.
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I didn’t have any friends when I was drinking, not even drinking buddies. I shut everyone out bc I didn’t want them to know my truth. When I quit, I realized it’s hard to make new friends as an adult. I come here everyday and engage with people and have formed friendships, but I know that’s not exactly the same. I also went to AA to try and find sober friends. I would’ve if I’d made alot more of an effort to keep those friends. It takes work to form friendships, especially in the beginning. I do have friends now, but still, I know I could always put in more effort.
What I realized I needed to do first tho, was get to know myself and be comfortable with being alone. How could I expect others to want to hang out with me if I couldn’t even hang out with me? Boredom was a huge trigger, but since it’s an inevitable part of life, it was important to get used to. Now I actually enjoy being alone as much as being around others.
I think a little self care and love could be the answer. Find what makes you happy and go from there 
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Maybe try a face to face meeting meet new like minded friends wish you well
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