Understanding, fear and the unknown is something we all need to address in our lives. More importantly, we have to learn that we need to consider breaking the wall and feeling the pain. The pain results in a loss of a friend, alcohol. I understand that I currently do not have the strength to feel the pain. Feeling the pain is part of this disease and we all must feel it. Knowing that the holidays are coming up and I can’t go talk to my. “friends” at the local boutique liquor store. I can’t participate in any of the tastings. It is very frustrating. However, I hope, I really do, that I can face the fear in knowing that the future will hold promise. It’s really difficult to be an alcoholic and at times I feel ostracized, not being able to celebrate with a glass or pint of microbrew. This really makes me sad. This fear that I will not be able to enjoy myself. This holiday season is a tough pill to swallow. What we are taught, however, is the power of sobriety and the joy that we get from being present. My family wants me to be present. My family wants me to be sober. While I am struggling internally, I do know that the support of this group is more important than ever during this time. I do understand that my future will be better as I am getting sober and living a life of recovery. The good news? There is life after alcohol, we just have to be present to enjoy it. @Butterflymoonwoman @MrMoustache @Matt @tailee17 @Dirk @Blondie1x @SoberSassy @jbaldwin84
Well written, I agree with you 100%. The upcoming holidays are indeed gonna be hard as an alcoholic and pothead. Fear is always lurking around the corner trying to lure us using substances. “Just one pint, that’s not so bad.” But that’s a dead end despite what our addict’s brain is trying to convince us.
I’m really glad I found this app, it’s been a tremendous help. Stay strong, brother, you got this, we all got this! Just one day at a time.
Absolutely. Alcohol - or whatever the addiction is - served as a crutch for so many years that eventually it seems like it’s been with us always. In my case my addiction became so much a part of my habits that I couldn’t operate without it (or so I thought). It is hard to say goodbye to something that has been so significant for so long. It is like saying goodbye to an old friend, and it’s especially hard in the early days because I don’t yet see the way my life is better with different habits and different friends.
This is true. It takes a little bit of effort each day to stay present in sobriety, but the payoff is worth it. 
Keep it up @michaeljlogan74. I know it’s hard. Do it anyway. You can do it. With help, and by following advice, you can do it.
I was taught early on to celebrate the holidays for the spirit they inspire, not my addiction’s way of corrupting their meaning. When I celebrate Thanksgiving with gratitude, or Christmas with giving, and view every 24 hours as a mini New Years day, it’s all good.
I remember it took a few annual cycles to incorporate this attitude into my thinking, glad I had a patient sponsor and supportive friends who kept this up front with me.
Thank you @bobslife for your insight and wise counsel.