You are exactly where you need to be. This community has so many people who are where you are and some that have been there and can be a big support. All I can say is that if You are questioning if it’s a problem, then it is. And there are so so many people here who can relate and encourage you on your decision. I myself am pretty early in my sobriety (69 days) but I have found such great support and comfort from so many people here.
So happy you are reaching out! And I am rooting for you! You found the right place
Welcome Genie. I hope you stick around and gain some knowledge. Alcoholism is a progressive disease and I look at it like an elevator that’s going down. We can choose to get off at any floor. Unfortunately, I waited until I got a DUI before I got off that elevator. Others go down even further, loosing jobs and families. The quicker you get off, the better your future life will be.
Thank you for resppnding. I completely understand that. That’s kind of where i was coming from though. I dont really know if I should rely on a aa or sober communuty for support or i should just be able to stop on my own. Not trying to deny anything, just trying to find the best way to move forward.
99.99% of every problem drinker feels this way. Most don’t recover because they pursue every illusion we can use to keep from admitting to being alcoholic. Suicide by self deception.
Its progressive. It gets worse before it gets better.
Hi Genie,
Welcome! I get where you’re coming from.
Firstly, don’t worry about labels it doesn’t matter. Alcohol is harming your life and that’s the issue.
At AA they say for example:
I haven’t had a DUI…yet.
I haven’t had pancreatitis…yet
So it doesn’t matter where you’re at, don’t worry about comparing yourself.
Also AA is not the only programme. There’s so many where you don’t do 12 steps, there’s quite a variety now, it’s just that AA is the most well known
Check out SMART recovery and Women for Sobriety for starters
Welcome to the community!
Reading your post it is clear to me that you are spiraling down. You use alcohol for the drug effect reason.
That’s abuse. It’s not important how you call it, fact is you use a drug to deliberately alter your state of mind chronically. Lying about and hiding this behaviour is typical - for an alcoholic.
Quitting alone is hard and when you read around you’ll find out that many people here tried and were not sucessful on the long term quitting alone. Being together on the sober road works better. So again Welcome! TS is a great place to share, to find information on practically every topic (use the search bar above) and to share good times too
Good threads to get started: Welcome to the forum! 2022
I can totally relate. I never hit rock bottom, like crashed a car or something.I thought this proved I didn’t teally have a problem with alcohol. What made me actually go for it was, when I realized alcohol had become more important than my health (I drank while on medications and I knew that would counteract their benefits) and the people that loved me (I lied to friends and family about my evening plans and drank home alone). Alcohol had become more important than me, I daresay. It was on my mind all the time. Sometimes stronger, sometimes less. What I am trying to say, you don’t need to hit rock bottom to be in a bad place. Read around, you’ll find hundreds of stories like this. Make an exit now. It’s totally worth it.
You’re right. Writing it out, reading it back, and watching people react to it made me realize the problem was worse than i had been telling myself. All of your responses has really made me more convinced that my decision to quit was the right one. Thank you. <3
I was in recovery for a few months before I finally admitted that to myself.
But whether you call yourself a heavy drinker, a problem drinker or an slcoholic, it’s just a word…
Hi Genie, you’ve already received plenty of helpful advice from people here. In addition to that, I recommend reading “quit like a woman” from Holly Whitaker. I think you might identify a lot with what she writes about her own experience with alcohol and quitting it for good!
I recommend The Alcohol Experiment. It is a free app that walks you through 30 days of not drinking with great info about alcohols true effects and motivation to continue on the AF journey.
It worked for both my husband and I. After the 30 days we both are continuing and are now on day 53.
Labeling your self as an alcoholic or not is unnecessary. Everyone who drinks has the potential to run into becoming a problem drinker because they learn that they can counter the negative effect of alcohol withdrawal by having another drink.
There are a lot of ways to do recovery…stick around here and read…you will find many succsessful ways to do recovery.
For me, I drank for decades, tried to quit for decades…I ended up here after coming seconds away from ending my life.
I came here became really active, was never going to do AA. I was told, to leave it open as an option. I rolled my eyes…left it at that.
I was on here for 89 days, did pretty darn well. I removed anything that had to do with alcohol. Everything…people, places, things were gone. It left a void. I do e head first into doing recovery my way. Researched anything and everything recovery related. Spent hours each day reading.
Day 90 came up, and I felt like I was going to cave. So, I walked into AA. While there was a lot I didnt agree with, I did it. AA, and this place, saved my life.
I just recently celebrated 4 years sober, and have moved on from AA. I replaced it with a different recovery program.
I think it’s really important not to compare. Our “bottoms” are exactly as low as we decide when we’ve had enough.
If you identify with the stories of alcoholism, if you can see in yourself the outcomes you’ve heard of others playing out in your own life, if you decide that you want recovery and to live by the principles of those who dedicate to a sober life, that likely will not make it any more or less difficult for you as it does others.
We share our stories not to compare. We share our stories in the hopes they may help the next person who enters recovery. In the worst case, to help them find a way out when things are at their worst. In the best case, to help them completely avoid having to go through worse.
And there is always worse, no matter how far down we think we have gone. In the back of the “big book” of AA there are three sections of varying degrees of stories for just that reason. All of them thrived in the end because they decided enough was enough.
I try to remember I was/am full of “yets.” I had not lost my job yet. I had not completely alienated the people I loved yet. I was not out on the streets or arrested yet. I found out as I got sober I was much closer to all of those things than I knew at the time. I was truly fortunate to have found recovery before it came to that.
So I’d say if you’ve decided you have a problem with alcohol and want to try living a life “in recovery,” which only means picking up the principles others have learned to live life on life’s terms, then I think that’s awesome. Go get it!
I’d rather live life sober wondering if I’m an alcoholic, than drunk wondering if I can get sober.
This comment really resonates with me. @Zoomtownresident21 thank you for starting this discussion. I too have found myself comparing my story to others, but thats not what its about. The fact that you are going back and forth on whether its a problem is telling. Is drinking intruding in your day to day?
I think the lying is getting to you and you are cheating yourself out of living authentically. I second the Alcohol experiment. Go 30 days sober and see how you feel.
