Just wondering if anyone else has had similar thoughts. I haven’t really had any urges to drink lately but for some reason I have almost glorified, in my mind, the struggle that followed the decision to quit. I almost enjoyed the “suck” of the first week or so. In the moment it was terrible but I guess overcoming that is what I really enjoyed. The lifting of the fog on my brain was amazing and I guess I’ve now just become used to it again. I know how I can just find another struggle to overcome and I will, I just find it interesting to myself. I am a glutton for punishment I suppose though, I hate running so I’ve made it my mission to become a runner and complete a marathon and possibly some ultras after. I think I just really enjoy the overcoming of a very difficult task or journey. Anyone else glorify this period in their minds?
I think for myself, the time (times, /grimace) I’ve made the decision to stop drinking mostly what I’ve felt is relief. I definitely have felt the thrill of victory when setting myself to new challenges though, and did train and run a half marathon in my first stretch of sobriety last year. An alternative if you really don’t like running, which I’ve done as well and is super fun is one of the obstacle course races like Tough Murder or Spartan race. Training for that is a good combination of running and strength training and the event is super fun as well.
That’s awesome you completed a half marathon. Congrats, that is no easy task for sure. I did the Spartan race last year (while still drinking and even hungover) and have signed up again this year. If I can’t beat my last years time after lots of training and sobriety, I’ll be a little upset with myself, but luckily I set the bar super low. I signed up for a last man standing ultra race but had to sit it out due to catching the flu. Will be signing up for a couple marathons this spring though and I eventually want to do a 50 miler and maybe a 100 eventually. I’m enjoying running more now that I’ve made myself do it and I have learned to embrace the suck of running as well. Haha.
I wouldn’t characterize it that way, but I know what you are saying and yes, I try to make myself remember every day how bad it was. I absolutely loved hitting the pillow sober, and that’s the time of day I try to reflect on the misery I was in. I’m so grateful.
Agreed. I think maybe that was part of it. The satisfaction of laying my head down sober every night through the struggle was pretty amazing. Still very satisfying but not contrasted by the suckiness of withdrawal anymore.
Certainly the early days have extreme improvement, so you feel motivated and satisfied. Stability is a lot less exciting. Trying to achieve something else do you can get the same lift is a good idea!