Isn’t it crazy how some days you feel great about things and life and the next day you’re down and wanting to just go back to the dope. Well today is one of those days, found myself searching my old hiding spots for anything I may have forgot about and it makes me feel pathetic about myself. And on top of it all I have an old dealer blowing me up. Feeling defeated today any encouragement would be appreciated. I can’t give up, I can’t give up, I can’t give up. 
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Big time. All ok earlier. Then got home from work to hear my daughter has broke her 3rd phone screen in about 6 months. And inside I’m pissed off and if I could get high by any means I’d probably jump at it. Not going to . But I’m restless. Stay cool. It will pass.
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Ps you’ve come this far. Keep your head up and keep walking away from the problems. A step back will only frustrate you. Fair play to you for not answering the dealer. Try to remove any chance of him/her contacting you if you can.
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Thank you for the encouragement I appreciate it!
We’re trying to break the habits of a long time. Funny that so many things can spark the desire to use. Good mood, bad mood, bored, etc. We’ll get there.
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Hi just reaching out on here shows how much u want to change. Sobriety is the best thing ever but we need to put in the work like we did getting hold of our drugs . Have u tried any meetings na is great way to meet soba friends and have people around us to help with recovery x
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I know right. It’s like re training your brain to not go use in any circumstance.
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I’ve been trying to ask for help or talk about my cravings or feelings instead of shutting down like I used to. Working on new coping skills isn’t easy but I’m trying. I do have a meeting that I go to on Thursday nights sometimes, just haven’t brought myself to go recently. Thank you for the reply 
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Dont give up! Please dont because I have the same damn feelings today was one of those days for me but I know my house has been cleaned out so I didnt bother to search. I did have to hide my phone so I didnt call an old “friend” to get anything bit I made it pass that and now I’m here reading your post and I wish I had more to say. I have 3 days 14 hours today and I feel that a meeting is what I need tonight and connecting with more people. I hope you are holding on I know I am white knuckling it the whole way. Pray and meditate and keep checking in.
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Man I know the feeling… My stomach will start to make me feel like I’m about to score some dope and shoot it… Takes me all over, then I start getting really manic and thinking about calling the numbers I can’t get out of my memory… Sheesh. Be strong friend. Hold fast as they say…
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Congratulations on 3 days! One day at a time. I know it’s hard but we can do this. I’m spending the day with my mom so I’m not by myself. Sometimes when I’m having these types of days I don’t let myself be alone because me and my thoughts are never good. Don’t give up and if you need to message me to talk I’m here. Thanks for replying
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Maybe you could go this Thurs and get some face to face support. I always feel so good after a meeting x
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Take a like at your self-honesty. What happens when you get loaded? Can you control it? If you can then great however if you cant control it and things get really messed up you should probably remember that your best thinking is what keeps getting you loaded and the pain and misery keeps getting you sober. Save your self the pain and misery your sober rightnow its not worth it at all.
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