Unsure of my problem

I don’t really know what to class myself as but I do know I have a drink problem. Mainly binge drinking and it’s definitely getting out of hand and affecting my life and my boyfriends life. I don’t depend on alcohol and I don’t drink everyday. I live in an area where I have a lot of friends close by and a lot of bars and clubs. It’s so easy to be around it. I say to myself I’ll just go and have one or maybe none but then none is always one then one is never just one. I end up getting completely wasted and now everytime I drink I blackout and can’t remember most of my night or getting home. It’s getting worse everytime I drink, I think I’m fine at the time and control but then it just hits me. I’ve done a lot of stupid shit in the past because of alcohol and everytime the next day I would tell myself that’s it I’m never drinking again. But then I do! It’s like I don’t care. My boyfriend has nearly left me twice and I told him I promise I’ll get help and stop drinking. It’s destroying my relationship. It’s also hard for him because he grew up around alcoholic parents and didn’t have the best life. He said he didn’t want to see me go down that path like them and it looks like I’m going that way. I hate the fact I can’t be normal and just go out and stop when I should do. I have a lot of issues I need to deal with and I will be going to counselling next week I’ve already made the call. But I don’t know how serious I am about being sober for the rest of my life? Surely I can’t be such an ass hole when I’m drunk forever? Maybe I’m still in denial I don’t know. I haven’t drank for 4 days now but knowing my boyfriend is away tonight I had the idea that it was OK to go to the pub in secret. I feel so bad. But I didn’t go I came home instead. Will this get any easier? Especially with the festive season coming along and everyone drinking. I’m sorry to go on I don’t know what answers I’m looking for really I just needed to say it. I’m not the person I used to be and I hate who I’ve become. The last thing I want to do is hurt him anymore.

4 Likes

I totally understand how you are feeling. I am a binge drinker too. Tonight stay strong. Don’t drink in secret. Deception is a difficult thing for a partner to forgive.

3 Likes

I’m home now I have no booze just orange juice lol. I know I can get through the week unless I get very stressed it’s just that feeling when it’s the weekend I get bored I don’t want to stay in I want to go out and get drunk. So frustrating. Can binge drinking be cured?

Boredom and stress - I hear you! Good on you for sticking with your goals tonight. Not sure about binge drinking being curable but personally I’m going to try. I am also just starting out on here and hoping to learn self-control with alcohol.

1 Like

Let’s hope we can both get through this. I’ve tried to control it many of times but it just doesn’t work so I’m going to try sobriety from here on. It seems the only way.

1 Like

We are all here for you. Stay strong and keep checking in. :slight_smile:

2 Likes

Alcoholism isn’t drinking everyday (necessarily), it is the inability to control your drinking when you do drink. In the early stages it will be just a compulsion (whether you act on it or not) to drink more when you do drink alcohol. If you have this symptom you most likely are an alcoholic. It doesn’t make you a bad person just you will save yourself much pain and trouble by avoiding alcohol in any quantity

3 Likes

I hear you and get it. We sound similar . I quit alcohol 23 days a

Days ago. It is hard at first and my social like is basically non existent for now. I didn’t drink often but like you when I did it was alwSys too much. No control ! I realized it wasn’t serving me anymore . Read a book called stop drinking and start living (say goodbye to regrets and hangovers! It’s worth the reAd! Hang in there try to focus on how great you feel sat /sun mornings etc!

2 Likes

Good advice! It’s great waking up on a sat/sunday hangover free. Feel more productive! I will definitely have a look for that book. I’ve been watching a couple of movies about alcoholism for motivation. Need to find some more. I cannot believe there are so many people and of all ages and some very young who have this problem. It’s taken me til the age of 29 to finally realise my problem. Wished I’d known sooner but hey ho at least I have now.

1 Like

Girl, I have definitely been there before. With me it started out like that as well. I used to be able to hang and party with everyone and the same thing happened to me it got so bad that people stopped wanting to hang out with me. I never thought i needed booze until i started drinking everyday and then i began hiding my everyday drinking from my boyfriend. But sadly you cant hide the fact that your wasted no matter how hard you try. you may think you are but the sober one will always know. I recently lost my 3 year relationship to this foolishness and it broke my heart. Be honest with your boyfriend, that was my mistake. The lying. Tell him what you are experiencing, tell him exactly how you feel. Im sure hell be more understanding than you think. You made the right decision going to a counselor. Im going to mine tomorrow. You can do this just be strong. Tell him and your counselor everything your thinkinking and try to work through it. Maybe try doing something different when you get the urge to go to the bar or at least limit yourself to maybe once or twice a week. Youll find what will work best with you… Good luck, be strong, you can do it

3 Likes

Thank you. I definitely don’t want to ruin what we have over booze. I’ll try to tell him but he’s not good with emotions and talking about things. Will try this counselling first and if I feel like I can open up to him after a while then hopefully he will be ready to listen. Good luck with your journey xx

3 Likes

And yeah that’s another thing a lot of people have noticed and stopped talking to me. I feel so embarrassed and like not many people like me much anymore or too ashamed to hang out with me. I went to wedding last week and got drunk and quite rude to a few people and some of his family was there. That was awful :scream:

I’m a binge drinker too. It started in college and for the most part I only drank when something was going on, but I drank till I blacked out. I quit doing that for a few years after getting married but it slowly crept back in. For the last 10 years or so I fooled myself into thinking I could just self medicate with 2 beers per night and that ugly side wouldn’t reappear, but it has. The last time was the end of it, I will lose everything if I don’t stop completely. Whatever is wrong with me can’t be fixed with alcohol so I’m done with it for good. I don’t know how I’ll react in social situations now and my wife feels like I’m going to cramp her social life by not wanted to go out. I guess she’ll just have to live with my inability to socialize. I really hate being hung over which helps but having that 2 beer crutch is just as bad.

1 Like

I’m you. I used to have control but lost it slowly. The blackouts are the wrong answer, friend. That’s not acceptable. I know it is scary to think about giving up alcohol forever. Believe me, I do. That’s why you don’t think of forever right now. Just today. Your bf loves you and wants more for you. The friends, the bars, the drinking buddies, they’re NOT who I called when I got hurt at a party. I called my church friend. They’re the ones who came to my side. Even though I was somewhere I wasn’t supposed to be. My point is, I’m lucky to be alive. Blackouts are a warning to you. Your body, your brain is no longer tolerating alcohol. Don’t worry about what you think you are missing out on. You’re not missing out on anything except hangovers, blackouts, being separated from your vehicle, potential for DUIs, making an ass of yourself, losing important people or worse, your life. And if something bad does happen to you, who will be there to comfort you and lead you away from that life? Who will help you pick up the pieces of your shattered life? Consider who you surround yourself with. Will they want you to escape this or would they merrily lead you back to it? I don’t drink daily. I’m also functional. I don’t miss work, I don’t break the law, I’m never late. I’m not your typical alcoholic either but I do know I have a problem. I can go two weeks, a week, most usually 3-4 days without a drink but when I do, I binge. I black out too. I’m lucky to be here. Maybe I’m here because you need to read this.

2 Likes