I get anxiety just trying to be sober and planning never to drink again, giving up my crutches, metaphorically. Yuck. The longer into Sobriety the worse it gets. I wonder if and when it might get better. My longest success, this entire year, has probably been about three weeks. I must seem awfully negative as well; I hope very much to be much more positive soon.
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Just try to limit your focus on today! Just for today your sober. Write a gratitude list and list 10 things your grateful for just for today. Focous on tomorrow when tomorrow comes. Go to as many meetings as you can, surround yourself with sober people and get in the middle of the hurd. We do this one day at a time!
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I understand this and I have had the same feelings of anxiety as well. This was very difficult for me in the beginning and became increasingly more difficult as I got some days of clean time. I now have 132 days of clean time what worked for me is acknowledging that I needed more help than just connection and a higher power, I needed professional help and to listen to there advice. I was prescribed a medication for anxiety and I was fortunate enough that it began work immediately. I am in my early 40s, I have been in active addiction for over 30 years, I have had clean time and I relapsed multiple times where I thought that being an active addict will always be me and that even if I had a bit of clean time that it would never last since the anxiety, the thoughts would always bring me back to using. I realize now that for me that getting professionals to help with some of my mental disorders was a game changer. I know that I still have a long road ahead of me but I can honestly say that I no longer have fear of what if I fail, or voices saying that I am not good enough. I have never felt so comfortable and content in my mind, my soul and in my skin as I do today.
The community of the follow ship has helped me with tools and professionals have helped me understand the importance of those tools… not sure if this all makes sense but anxiety, fears, depression, etc can take a person out, hell it took me out multiple times, to many to count but once I understood that drugs/booze is a byproduct and the root issue was much more and needed to be treated professionals all changed for me… just my 2 cents, good luck on your journey!
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This rings true in some respects for my short time in sobriety, but I try your best to stop and recognize the clarity you are gifted through sobriety. Also it is a real accomplishment, each day, event or social gathering you push through is another success and investment in yourself
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I could not get sober until I did start to focus on only one day at a time. Even just getting from the time I got up until the time I went to bed, maybe 18 hours. And with commuting and work and an AA meeting and meals, any single stretch of time in the day was no more that 3 hours. And I knew I could stay away from a drink for 3 hours.
I used those distorted thinking skills from my drinking days. I used to think “It wasn’t that bad, I can fix it” for whatever consequence I had that day. In sobriety, I could think that the rest of the day wasn’t going to be that bad, that I could hack it.
Make no mistake, I came to sobriety in a world of hurt. I was depressed and convinced nothing would ever be good again. But I was so beat down by the booze that I just couldn’t tolerate it any longer. Something had to change or I would be locked up or dead inside a week. And maybe that was the best thing for me, because I just didn’t care what was going to happen tomorrow. I just couldn’t even think about it.
Focus on the day. Find gratitude in today, as @niyaday suggets. Yesterday cannot be changed, learn to give up all how for a better past. Tomorrow is promised to no one. Today, right now, we are safe and okay. Today has everything we need today.
Every little thing is gonna be alright 
.
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Are you part of a sobriety program, and if so…are you active in the program?
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I went to an AAA meeting with a friend. I have a counsellor also. Nobody on this earth, for the rest of my sorry existence, is ever going to convince me that my failure to do what I should have done for a loved one is not my fault. All I can understand is that there were mitigating circumstances and that I never wanted even remotely to fail in my duty. It just happened. I hate myself so much that I usually sleep 18 hours a day just to escape my own self. One could say, this is negative narcissism (some people in my life have thought everything horrible under the sun about me, to the extent that I am afraid of everything thing I say, or do, lest it be selfish, narcicisstic, crazy making and a whole host of other things that I do not mean to be. I never was able even to understand some of those things in the first place, even after googling them. (What in the world is crazy making and why in the world would anyone want to make another person crazy???) On here, however, since nobody knows me irl, it is less difficult to type out what is gnawing away at my soul.
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That was my experience. The first 90 days were the hardest, because the alcohol was blocking my anxiety in the short term. Once I stopped self medicating it came roaring back. I kept myself super busy all of the time. I worked with my therapist. And over time (maybe 6-9 months) it chilled out. I no longer have really high baseline anxiety or frequent panic attacks. And I know it’s from quitting alcohol because I had done everything else right. Just get through the day.
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I was an Officer in the Military. I was responsible for making sure my boys all made it home. All but one did. For decades I blamed myseld. I punished myself. What you wrote, i felt every day. I used it as reason to drink.
Then i got sober. I worked a recovery program. I still felt guilty, still punished myself. As the sober days grew, i gained perspective. Keep going to AA, work its program.
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Hey thank you for your service. God Bless You.
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