This might be a little long winded…
It’s a fact that all benzos are more addictive than most substances on earth. People who are on them for longer than a few days form a chemical dependency. For almost all people that slight dependancy is easy to get over. But the longer someone is on it the harder it is to get off of it. The higher the dose… well, we all know the rest. You don’t have to go down the shithole that I went through to be addicted.
The part that’s worse is the mental addiction (just like everything else). It’s downright fucked up how well these medications work! Crippling panic attack, GONE! Every type of anxiety, GONE! And the worst part is that millions of people are prescribed it and don’t have a “problem.” Well, I think more people do than are documented, but that’s just me maybe. I think it’s absolutely amazing that the newer generation of psychiatrists and doctors refuse to prescribe them except in dire circumstance.
So… here is the greatest problem. The biggest withdrawal symptom is anxiety! Like terrible, agoraphobic anxiety. For people who have only been on them for a few weeks this isn’t super intense (but still not a walk in the park). For people who have been on them for a while it becomes almost impossible. The physical stuff is pretty bad (downright terrible in a lot of cases), but it’s the knowing how well the shit works that really screws us up.
Throw on top of all that the history of addiction to other stuff (alcohol for us) and BAM! Perfect storm! What is the biggest withdrawal across the board??? Let’s say it together everyone… ANXIETY!
Sooooo, yeah. Most people don’t end up in the situation I was in with the benzos (thank jeebus) but that doesn’t mean the situation is easier.
You definitely took a big step not taking a high dose. I didn’t have the option of trying to taper off the way you are trying. I sincerely hope that you can succeed! Motivation and drive are ESSENTIAL in your journey. There’s nothing even remotely close to easy about what you are doing and I stand behind you in your journey. Please keep us up to date! There is so little out there about this addiction and anything you can add to the greater world about it is important! Much love!