Hi everyone!
I thought id open up a little thread to include anything and everything that we feel the need to get off our chests and or to give and receive advice when life gets all lifey!
Its good to talk so…VENT AWAY…BLOW OFF SOME STEAM…GET IT OFF YOUR CHEST…TALK IT OUT…
It all helps to keep sobriety on track 
Yiaahaaa!
I’m so pissed of people not doing their jobs, I would like to keelhaul them. Open your eyes, put your brain on and don’t tell me any whiney, lame, i-am-to-lazy/ignorant-bullshit-excuse 
It’s not that difficult to put the mail into the mailboxes of our 4 rowhouses and it is NOT allowed to dump it just in front of the door. EVERY FUCKING YEAR THE SAME BULLSHIT AROUND EASTER 
And could my old cat please shut the fuck up for today, I’m fed up with his constant “i’m bored, it’s spring, do something but i won’t engage and miow on” attitude. I dearly love him but I have no patience to deal with annoyances at the moment.
naga naga naga making grumpy noises 
feeling 
better now 
edit to add: venting really helps 
edit to add (2): the old boy miowed until I gave in, sat back, grabbed something to read and let him curl up between my legs. he always wins 
Something has happened and i dont know what to do about it…my ex my daughters dad has done something that i feel might put my daughter in danger…so the back story is that his girlfriends ex partner has some kind of issue with her and for months now has been apparently spray painting obscenities about her around their small town…the police have been involved…my ex and his gfriend dont live together…last week he targeted my exes house and wrote something about him outside his house…this is the house i take my daughter to to visit him which was the same day she was due to go…i was already worried…i had to distract her while i took her to visit him so that she didnt see what was written then i picked her back up once it got dark enough for her not to see it. Told him to keep his door locked at all times and to ring me asap if anything happened…Obviously my ex was angry but i spoke to him and asked him not to retaliate and to remember that he is a dad and to allow the police to deal with things. A few days later last Saturday my daughter was due to go visit for the day (she doesn’t stay over night) before we set off to go to his i messaged to check if he had sorted the writing off the wall…no reply…it was morning so i thought maybe hes still asleep (i often have to wake him up when i take her) so i get to his house…knowing i might have to knock him up out of bed and not knowing if the writing is still there i tell my daughter to wait in the car in the warm until he gets up…so i knock and knock and there is no answer…his phone is ringing out and no answer there either…eventually he answers fully clothed and clearly drunk ranting and raving that hes been to the person who did the spray paint outside his house the night before and put the windows out…(who even does that??) so i tell him i wont be leaving my daughter with him and go back to the car…luckily my daughter didnt see him and so on the spot i told her that he is ill and that she cant visit today…she cried her eyes poor thing…so now i dont no what to do from here…ugh my poor girl i want so much better for her…
The police are very unlikely to help, IMO. So, with that being said, I would enforce neutral meeting areas between your daughter and her dad for now and the next few weeks and months until whatever spirals is under control or dealt with. I hope the police do help, but they were very unhelpful when my sister was going through threats of neighbours violence and intimidation and harassment.
Not to be blunt, but your ex’ gf is embroiled in this situation and now your ex is too. This won’t just disappear and i urge you to keep you and your daughter out of any of this dynamic. So if he wants to see her it should be a play area, cinema, shopping trip etc, not at his.
He can open a crime number with the local police and get cctv to upload against the crime number if he wants to eventually prosecute. However, if he has put windows in now, then the same can be said about him being in the frame for prosecution.
Honestly. Steer clear so that you don’t become another proxy target. I am sorry this will affect your daughter 
Hugs.
Thank you…its so difficult because she adores him…since i saw him that morning he hasnt exactly been remorseful either…i tried to explain to him yesterday how all this affects her and he went straight on the defensive and started screaming at me…calling me names and saying of course shel be safe etc he usually has her for a couple of hours tomorrrow…
Ego is an amazing thing. No one can promise anything. You are entitled to how you feel as main caregiver and if you don’t feel it safe then you don’t feel it’s safe, end of. Calling you names is just out of order and you should not be bought down by that or intimidated or bullied by him. A couple of hours is easily spent at the cinema or at McDonald’s with a card game or going to the library together or whatever… Any thousands of ideas.
Thats difficult because we live in a small town and there isnt many places he can take her plus he doesnt have a car
Yeah that’s quite difficult then. I don’t know what to suggest then, maybe it will fizzle out?
I just know from my sister’s situation that has been going on eight months now that it should really have been kept above the law. She got wraparound cameras and a crime number with police and whenever anything happened she blatantly filmed the neighbour and uploaded it. They backed off and so much was in the open about the perpetrator that if any violence had transpired off the property it would mean prosecution or imprisonment as the case was live and known.
Good luck with what you choose to do Kelly, hard situation.
Thank u xx
Sounds like that situation is escalating. I agree, keep yourself and your daughter safe! Sending you strength and love.
Thank you @Tragicfarinelli @Pattycake
So…i messaged him today and told him straight that she will not be going to his house for the time being at the very least…
I fully expected trouble but actually he was ok about it, said hel visit her at my house for the time being so im a bit happier with that, im different these days and i think he knew i meant business
That’s a relief! 
Sobriety has been exhausting for me lately 
…feels like this is never going to end… I’ve contemplating on buying some weed lately. Im not going to…but I want to. Sleep deprivation is getting to me. I’m constantly checking my anger and I’m over it. Why is being “normal/good” so fukn difficult? I know its worth it and it’s all “going to get better”…but, is it? Really? 
I feel this in my soul… i really do. Recovery is HARD work. I too get exhausted with having to “check” my self all the time. Constantly having to put in the work when at times all I want to do is escape. I get what ur saying but we are stronger than our addictions. We need to never give up. Sending u strength 
I think you just gained another important tool. I relapse a year after the first time I did rehab. I did it because i was bored and if im being honest, I was not ready to let the pipe go.
But yeah, always try to remember that feeling of regret when you crave. It always helps me stay on my lane. I wish you the best my friend.
Thank you for the kind words 
I dont think ill ever go back to the drinking or drugging. I’ve gained to much to lose it again.
Im a public figure and im struggling to keep sober. I cant stand seeing kids when ive been smoking. Especially when they are excited to see me. I have got to do better by them. Even if being a role model was out of my control it still happened and i am one regardless. I want this for myself just as bad as i want it for me FOR other people. I can not have people idolizing someone who does drugs.
Ive woken up today angry…i am absolutely fucked off!!! Going back to what i originally talked about on this thread…my ex had our daughter yesterday for exactly 45 minutes…45 minutes in a week?? Some dads would absolutely love to see their kids and cant for watever reason and this arsehole can only spare 45 minutes? I think i actually HATE HIM!!! I am angry that i ever thought he had a decent bone is his pathetic body…i am angry for my beautiful daughter!!! i could spit nails today 
Sending hugs, this is ridiculous. Drunk, no time … sounds like the dad of the month
I’m sorry for your daughter as she loves her daddy. Well, he obviously doesn’t care, so hurtful. All I can offer is a virtual hug, take good care of yourself 
He disgusts me. I could hardly look at him yesterday when he brought her home. Thank you for the hug it means alot