Hi all just needed to share tonight . I’ve been to my CA meeting this evening. A guy shared a lot about life on the street s and incident s with the police my emotions were fucked (these things are not that far behind me yet ) a lot of people are coming to the meetings from rehab and are very unwell a lady who’s my age started crying And My emotions are coming back ten fold in the last two days and I broke down too. I feel every ounce of other peoples pain like I can’t even explain to you !I’m almost at thirty days and I feel like I’ve been hit with a brick .I only have two states atm feeling numb and like I’m fine abd coping really well or feeling completely broken and everyday simple tasks are like being an inadequate member of Mensa .I put the kettle on and wondered why the microwave isn’t cooking my dinner and got things out then put them away before I’d used them ,then having to stand and spin out wondering what I’d done with them or if I’d done them at all. it’s really fucking scary shit and it makes me feel like I’m losing my marbles . I’m far removed from picking up today
You are not losing your marbles. You’re healing and that takes a lot of time after the damage we put ourselves through. Many emotions will come in many waves. I can tell you’re a very empathetic person. As am I. Empathy is hard to manage. Just let go and let God my sister. Praying for strength 
Please try not to be so hard on yourself. Early sobriety is just plain “Wack-a-doodle”.
I find myself doing productive things automatic now (almost 6 months sober) and just can’t understand why I struggled so much with these tasks in the past. I do understand I was drunk most of the time… now I am not.
I proclaim you will find balance, comfort and peace. Just keep staying sober and Breathe… I must also practice this.
Stupid story to share but in the car yesterday… I guess I was holding my breath unaware I needed to breathe. I was contemplating something deep. Not sure what was so important I stopped inhaling and exhaling. I almost pulled over because I thought I was going to faint. Then self talk said “you are an idiot…take a breath”
Anyway … I am here and sending you a hug.
Thank s I’m so grateful to have you with me on my journey. I’m letting it all wash through me today instead of over me and I know it will pass. I’m going to pray hard tonight I’ve only Been doing it for a couple of weeks but I know my prayers are not going unanswered for any of us .if i don’t choose darkness and keep being willing to do the next right thing I’ll keep my recovery. I’m going to bed after my prayers I’m mentally physically and emotionally exhausted and I recognise and accept it … I’ll message again in the morning Xx