First one sober as a Veteran. In the past it never bothered me like Memorial day. But, in the retail world, this time of year I was stress drinking like a crazy man…so feelings must have been bottled up.
Depression has set in, anxiety attacks are back, nightmares that have long since past are back. For decades, booze was my crutch and “relief” from all this.
Am I going to drink…FUCK NO. Am I worried about a relapse…no. I have worked too hard to go back to that sewer pit of a life.
What I am doing: if i go out to eat, the place wont serve alcohol, if I see a friend…it will be a non drinking friend. I am going to protect my sobriety, get past Veterans day, and live a sober life.
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That must be really tough, BUT on the plus side, sobriety is finally allowing you to feel your feelings and process your emotions rather than keeping them bottled up and ready to explode. Do whatever sober things you need to get through - fun things, boring things, have with friends or be by yourself - whatever feels right.
Thinking and praying for you.
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I know in your early recovery you used to outdoor walks. Maybe this could help ya meditate and get more level headed. Anytime my anxiety flips on high or im stressed ill go to a park. Ill sit in the car listening to music or get out and walk. During this time i rationalize my situation and thoughts. Usually after some time im in a better state of mind. Keep it up!
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Snowed all night, sun will be out…supposidly…might just be a good day to hunt a few rabbits…
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