Hey, sober for 14 days now. Posting the first time. Last time i was 6 month sober as a challenge. Was no problem for me so after the 6 month i got back to drinking. Not massive amounts, but daily and at least 2-3 Beers. Thinking of drinking all the time, even hiding drinking from my wife. Seems like a red flag. My mind tries to tell me that i dont have a problem and if i can kick the booze whenever i want to and that i am not a vodka or hard booze drinker and that 3 beers or 2 hard beers shouldnt be a problem…
I told my wife two weeks ago that i think that i have a drinking problem and that i want to quit. She was suprised and didnt see the problem (she rarely drinks minimal amounts).
I perform so much better free from booze. And i think the danger is that stopping for a time that i set myself is not a really big deal for me. But when i am back to it so much revolves around alcohol and the alcohol amount is getting slowly more and more.
So now 14 days sober we are visiting family i a different city. They are avid wine drinkers and just looking at the 5 wine bottles in the Fridge and 5 others laying around i got triggered and got the urge but resistet. My plan is to just say that i dont want to drink today if the topic comes up today when eating (wine to the food).
Hard to think of myself as being an addict. My alcoholic brain tells me all the time that it isnt so bad (you never blacked out, you are still a nice husband, you never drink in the morning, never had someone complained that you drink to much etc…)
If you have that nagging feeling that you have a problem, then you do. My husband didnt think I had a problem either. Until he witnessed some bad behavior on my part, fights etc that slowly started to escalate. I finally let him in on the constant battle in my mind and the “whys” behind me drinking, at least some of them. He has never at out said I have a problem but he has definitely encouraged me to at the very least, cut back, but I finally have his full support in quitting.
Dont let what someone else thinks, stop you from quitting. I personally used that as an excuse to keep drinking for a long time.
Congrats on 14 days though!
The ‘Yet’ list. I had one too. All it is, is justifying bad behavior by pointing out the absence of consequences.
Here’s the kicker, once you start ticking off the items off the Yet list, you still justify it by convincing yourself that it wasn’t as bad as others. “My DUI wasn’t THAT bad because I didn’t crash my car. I was laid off, not fired and my drinking had no impact on my job performance. Drinking at noon is better than drinking at 10AM”.
The only way to win this game is to stop playing it.
My alcoholic brain lies to me all the time. I never got a DUI, I’ve never been to jail or prison, etc. I know in my heart that I’m an alcoholic and that I have to stay away from that poison. If I listened to my alcoholic brain, I wouldn’t be 64 days sober today.
I recently did a trip to visit my dad in Arizona. I was surrounded by drinking and even worse felt obligated to socialize with them. I wasn’t expected to drink but they had no idea how just sitting there with them as they all drank glass after glass after glass was beyond stressful for me.
But I had to remind myself that sobriety was what I wanted. It was my goal. I did not WANT to drink (even though I did want to drink…if you know what I mean). So I had to be strong and stick to my convictions.
And I know you can do it to. Remember, no one person, place, or thing can make you drink…only you can. So if you don’t want to drink then you just have to do it.