Hello folks, i logged into the sober app and saw dozens of messages id not replied to , i feel bad about that hrnce this post , im approaching 60 days dry after my last disastrous fall off the wagon and im proud of that. Long story short , im 55 in a couple weeks, i have two oprions , carry on slipping every now and again or die. No middle ground here, ive done too much damage to my organs and my brain. When i fall off the wagon it no exaggeration to say it nuclear lvl. I can go a solid month drinking 3/4 litres of vidka every day , thrn bang… money runs out and i have horrifying withdrawal. I drink to escape life, because im crap at it. I neck half a litre, sleep a few hours, wake uo and finish the litre of vodka, wash rinse repeat until money runs out or my mental health worker is notified im not pucking uo my psych meds and calls at my flat. It can never happen again, i have korsakoff syndrome thru drinking and numerous other issues , but im dry now, and wanted to thank all of you whove adjed after me, and to say sorry i disappeared without replying , im not very good at life, but im sober enough to at least try now. Bless all of you, and thanks again.
Thankyou, i will , and the descriptions you give of the horrors of vodka withdrawal, are definitely something i recognised. I used to go a few weeks utterly wasted 24/7 then money ran out, and i had to stop. How i didnt die from the DTs is amazing to me. I was weak as a kitten for weeks after i had ti stop… just walking to the bathroom felt like a marathon uphill , literally dripping wet thru with sweat so i couldn’t see thru the salt in my eyes. I tried telling ppl i didn’t actually enjoy being pissed , i just hated life so badly i had to escape it and that was my way. Its absolutely destroyed my life and my relationship with my family… but im still only 55 so theres still time to put some wrings right.
Yep. I00% relate. Normally im a law abiding decent member of society, but (this is just one example of many equally bad decisions ive made when in the grip of withdrawal) i walked into my local shop, they know me well , orderd a bottle of vodka , then ran away , hadnt a penny , was focused on the drink, nothing mattered but the drink. Weeks later i wrnt in , paid what i owed and apologised. They didnt call police , the guy said he knew id sort it eventually but doesnt make it any less embarrassing, but when in the grip… you just dont care. Theres many many more stories, and thats just the o es i can remember but i think you understand perfectly well enough. Getting stipped in the street and told about things youve done as well , humiliation beyond belief. Its just not worth it. Im logging off now, but thanks for the chat, appreciate it.