So I’ve been alcohol free since March 25th . I’m enjoying life without it . I’ve wrecked a car because of it, ruined relationships, took part in drugs, drove a lot while under the influence, spent too much money on it, lost items, put myself into relationships I had no business being in at all, etc. I started drinking when I was 16 . I stopped for 7 months one year and now I want to stop again . I’ve saved so much money already and while I still have mental health issues aside from drinking, I feel better . I was thinking of going to and AA meeting while my girlfriend was at school tonight and just told her and she says “I wish you would tell me these things” and I was like “I’ve told you before I wanted to go” also we’ve literally talked about going together to N.A. . Then she says I just want to know because I was thinking of getting a beer before class and drinking it at home (in front of me) and I said I don’t care I just care if you take it too far often . Then she tells me that it’s ok to have a few drinks . I’m aware lol . That is my problem thought ! Im not the everyday drinker but I’m the drink till blackout drinker . A lot of my years involved me not remembering most of my drinking nights . I don’t like that and don’t want to be that way anymore . I just don’t have self control and I also want to go out and hangout until like 2 am when I drink and be around people who aren’t good . I just turn into someone else and that someone else is a girl who tries to kill her pain and avoid her problems with drinking . My friend said the same thing “I think it’s ok to have a few” . But like I’ve tried … I want more than just a few . I’m just bothered by people not taking my decision seriously and acting like what I’ve done is ok . It’s not . I could’ve hurt someone or myself and that’s not cool with me . I know its all up to me and how I feel but I’m kind of bummed that my gf isn’t very supportive or attempting to understand that my drinking isn’t just casual . But other than that, I hope everyone on here is doing well and staying strong
Also all of the things I’ve listed above I’ve done while drunk, I don’t take them lightly . There’s more to the story than that . I’ve went home with strangers and allowed myself to be just a body for some people because I was drunk . Im not a good person when I drink and I definitely allowed more than I should have when drunk . I’ve self harmed whilst drunk and almost ended my life at age 17 and Ive been overlooked a lot in life by my mom, relationships, friends . Some people have been so encouraging in my life and I’m happy to have them . Moral of my story, I’ve done damage and also been damaged from drinking and I’d like to continue to live without it .
Yes it is tough when we dont get support from others. It is important to remember though that they have their own lenses they are looking at the issue through.
I think there are 2 possibilities as to why you havent received support from you girlfriend and friend
Bringing up the topic of being sober is forcing them to look at their relationship with alcohol, and they are worried that if you think you have a problem, then they probably have a problem.
They definitely don’t have a problem and cant wrap their head around not being able to stop after 1 or 2 drinks and drinking does not come up as a thought for them on a regular basis.
Either way you need to find a group of like minded individuals that understand your point of view. Joining this app is a really good start! Attending an AA meeting would be another great step.
Put yourself first. If you are ready to go to an AA meeting, then do it!
One of the hardest lessons we learn in life is that most likely you are the only person in the world that you can rely on. Everyone else who is kind and supportive is wonderful but not guaranteed.
Put yourself and your health first. Everything else will fall into place.
This is a good example of the difference between people who don’t have a problem with alcohol and people who do. I am also a person who wants to have more than just a few, I want all of the drinks. It’s smart and brave for you to recognize this in yourself. You can only save yourself here. Stay your course, you are doing great.
I wouldn’t worry too much about whether other people think you have a problem. Whether you’re having one drink a night or 50, if it affects the way you feel, than that’s what matters. Theyre not the ones that have to live with it. From what you wrote you’ve definitely had your share of problems when drinking. Probably a good decision to stay quit. Not everyone is gonna understand, but it’s the ones that don’t even show at least a little support you might wanna rethink whether they have your best interest in mind at all, no matter how close you think they are to you.
My recovery is the first thing I think about every day when I get up. My past is exactly that and it cannot be changed. I don’t go over & over in my mind the woulda/shoulda/coulda shit as it bums my brain out and makes me feel sad and that’s a place where shitty drinking thoughts can creep in. I stay out of my head by going to my AA home group meetings, coming here and helping others daily.
AA is therapy for me, applying the steps in my life gives me purpose and staying the fuck out of my head allows me sanity.
It only takes desire in the beginning, takes work to keep it going. Hugs to ya & very happy you’re here!
Beware of people trying to keep you how you are out of selfishness. I’ve had those friends. I’ve also had friends supportive enough to throw everything out including the listerine and offer to take me to AA meetings.
I don’t know your friends, but you’ve described some destructive, dangerous behavior that I would think they would actively try to discourage you from and go out of their way not to trigger it. Regardless, you don’t have to do everything together, have your own plans and activities for when the others want to party and drink.
Just go to an AA meeting yourself. Honestly, even if you girlfriend wants to go too I think it’d be healthier to go to separate groups anyway. Just my .02.
Just go if you want to go, it’s not something they need to worry about and you shouldn’t have to worry about them. If they go on about it’s ok to have a few drinks let them know what they mean is it’s ok for them to have a few drinks, and other people to have a few drinks, but for me I can only have all the drinks or none of the drinks and I’m choosing none.
Also, it is just me or is “I wish you’d told me you’re going to AA, I’d planned on coming home to drink beer in front of you” just silly? I mean no disrespect to your girl but what lol
I remember telling g my husband I wanted to go to an AA meeting and his response was “but you’re not an alcoholic”. Oy I’m sure he meant that kindly because he didn’t think my drinking was so bad. But what HE thought didn’t matter. I thought my drinking was bad and I wanted to go to a meeting.
SO I WENT TO A MEETING!!
You do what you need to do. And as for “it’s okay to have a few drinks” the only answer you need to give is “ but I don’t want a few drinks, I don’t want any drinks”.
You can’t make them stop drinking but they also can’t stop you from not drinking
