Was handed a prescription last week

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I changed doctors recently and within talking to me for 20 minutes, she printed off a prescription for a drug to help with alcohol cravings. It’s seriously nuts that I never thought to ask for this before, since I was successful in quitting smoking with medication also (going on over two years and I smoked for almost ten.)

I am getting the perscription today and amping myself up again for sobriety. I did two weeks recently and felt amazing. Cleaned up my life so dramatically, I was accidentally making friends jealous. Now I’ve slipped again, and so has my partner, suddenly it’s two months later, and we keep bringing each other back into this circle of despair. I gave him the heads up that I’m doing this and he sounded supportive.

I feel a little defeated that I am needing to go the medical route for this. After countless years of failed sobriety stints, AA, interventions, I now am literally needing to make alcohol make me more sick than it already makes me. My hope is that I drink a beer, get nauseous immediately, and stop.

Lately, my cravings have been out of control. Even through grueling hangovers where I lay in bed for an entire day. Its like my body and mind were installed with no brakes. I will drink until my throat burns. I am a 5’ 130lb woman, who should be drinking maybe 4 drinks a week and I am closer to 20 or even 30, depending on my bender. I outdrink or keep pace with most fully grown men that I am with, until I completely black out. It’s so gross.

I basically just crave the feeling of being drunk every day now, even in the mornings, even if I don’t want to. I do not sneak day drinking btw, I have when I was younger, and it quickly unravelled my life. But even now while being “functional”, drinking nearly every evening, I am not happy. I have tried every song and dance to stop myself. Even when I am telling myself “IT IS LITERALLY POISON”, binging youtube videos on how bad alcohol is for the brain and how it literally does nothing for you, my brain does not care. I need to make it gross, like I did for cigarettes. It’s so frustrating and I feel intense shame.

I am going through some waves right now. Yesterday was my birthday, and I am hoping to use it as a milestone as to where I can be if I keep with my goal. I don’t want to be here, miserable, in another year. I’ve already done too many years.

Just to add on, I posted a post about a month or so ago about my problematic relationship with my partner. I received very powerful and wise, heart wrenching replies about how unhealthy we have been together. I am still procressing my life with him but have not committed to staying or leaving. I listened, I am working on myself first, and if he continues to be problematic, then I may have make an extremely difficult choice in my life. Thank you to everyone who has listened so far.

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Whatever it takes Beck. If it works it works. Although in my opinion it still leaves the real problem, which in my opinion is this:

Why is that? Why do you feel the need too be drunk each and every night? I feel you have to find that out and work on different ways to deal with life. To build yourself a life you don’t feel the need to run from every night. Sobriety itself is never the solution, but it opens up the possibilities to work on a solution that lasts. I hope this is a way to get you sober and gives you the opportunity to work on yourself Beck. Wishing you all success.

PS. The line I quoted has me thinking about this line from a song in my teens; “what is wrong, in my life, that I must get drunk every night”. It’s funny how that got stuck in my head. Took me only 40 years to realize it was about me. Hugs.

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Just some advice from someone who has been there please do not drink and take medication. It can be very dangerous. Good for you wanting to change your life! You can do this! Welcome to TS :bouquet:

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If it works for you that’s great. Anything that will help get a sober start has to be good. I did take naltrexone a few years ago. It made me very ill, there was something in it that didn’t agree with me. I even reduced down to 1/4 a pill and no way could I take it. I packed it in and resumed drinking, I lied to the doctor and said I was cured, I probably should have discussed it with him bit I didn’t like him either. Not everyone has the same experience with it. Best of luck, I’m 4 weeks sober and it’s paying off. Not easy but worth it. I have reprogrammed my brain somehow. But I’m still very scared of triggers I want to be free of this rotten disease

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