I relapsed after 2.5 years absent from meth but the more I experience a life of recovery my life seems better when I was in active addiction. It seemed exciting. It seemed it had more things going for me. I get to be around friends and relatives. I feel attractive. I have more fun. I take life for what it is. I let go of past hurts. And that is when I am high. I enjoy life better. I don’t battle with sucking up my team I ignore the sadness that comes over me as I am forgetting about the cruelty of the planet that I feel I found home among the broken people. That can’t get out of their misery. That I don’t want to falsify the truth by being hit with reality that people have deliberately done harmful intended actions against me
1 Like
Sounds like lot of reasons to keep using ?
Good luck with that…
See you around I guess. Welcome !
2 Likes
Yeah, getting wasted is fun. You can socialize, relax, trivial things don’t bother you, you name it. But, all parties come to and. I won’t bore you with the benefits of being sober, but just take a moment to think about all of the self inflicted pain that has come with using.
1 Like
I felt exactly the same like you. Until I didn’t. Eventually the drugs will take over. You’ll loose control and what once was fun, giving you confidence and helped you to escape from reality will become burden. And you’ll almost certainly find out that it’s very hard to get rid of it.
But as long as you’re not at that point yet and as long as you still see the drugs as a helpful tool to help from whatever you’re trying to escape from, we can’t help you, because you don’t want help.
I wish you could see that the “fake world” you created isn’t helping you anyhow, because the real world remains around you - wherever you go, whatever you do.
Hope that you will reach here again once you’re ready.
Just remembered- there had to be a reason why you joined this community with hope to stop.
7 Likes
Side effects of using meth:
- Rapid heart rate.
- Increased blood pressure.
- Increased respiratory rate.
- Elevated body temperature.
- Insomnia.
- Anxiety.
- Paranoia.
- Aggression and violence.
- Cardiovascular issues such as stroke and heart attack.
- Tremors.
- Convulsions.
- Death.
2 Likes
I wonder how much of that is the addiction talking?
When I got sober, I had to re-learn life, find a new life style. Is life perfect, absolutely not, but it’s better not living in the fog of addiction.
What were the reasons you got clean_sober for?
3 Likes
I think we have all felt like that at some point. I guess I can’t really speak for others, but I can for myself. I thought my addiction was helping me in life, and maybe in some ways it did. But when I made the CHOICE to be sober, o was able to look at everything about my addiction, both good and bad. I even wrote a pros and cons list to share with my therapist as I saw both in my choice of drugs.
I know we talk a lot about a higher power and I don’t know what yours is, but mine is God. I started seeking Him out and others that understood. I found myself a support system with real life people who chose to walk beside me as I battled this. I had to look for this support because honestly, it’s not the easiest to find. When YOU make the decision to be sober, I hope that you can find support from others in life as well as thorough this app.
I’m the meantime, we are ALL here to support you as you try to make better decisions.
You made the first step to your journey by coming in and sharing your thoughts. That was brave of you and im proud of you for that!! Keep digging into healing and maybe you can see a brighter side! 
3 Likes
Emphasis added. It seems that way, but it isn’t real. And in my experience, with time, that imaginary place I was in eventually caught up with me and couldn’t be ignored anymore.
Sober isn’t easy either. But I’ve found I can live a life that’s just as fulfilling clean and sober. Maybe more so because it’s real. It lasts.
When I wake up, I don’t need to put anything in my body to know the peace and truth of what’s right in front of me. To know who I am.
5 Likes
Until its not and the high crashes down on you like a tidal wave, and there is nothing left but a broken mind, a broken life, and an empty room with you in it.
2 Likes
Enjoy it while it is kind to you. In time Jails, institutions or death.
3 Likes
i understand. it’s a bit different for me though. i feel like life is too much. there are way too many things going on, all at once. there is a possibility you were self-medicating. i was able to quit and keep it up because i got treatment for my anxiety and depression. you might want to contact a psychiatrist and see how it goes? i hope that helps