Seven days sober, lying in bed sweating. THC leaving my body. Can’t sleep. Waves of guilt and shame wash over me. Reflecting on my behaviour during 25 years of smoking and I just feel so sad. Also feeling so vulnerable and naked almost without the haze “protecting” me from reality. I can’t even bare people looking at me. I feel too much. My shield is gone. I don’t know how to protect myself.
Not giving up, no way back. But it is hard. Part of the proces I guess. It helps writing it all down and knowing I am not alone in this.
Thanks.
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I understand this. The numbness, the distance of being in the addiction: that distance, that separation, that fake “safety” - that is so much a part of my experience.
I haven’t figured it out yet. But I’m making progress. I am learning a lot from my recovery group. Have you considered joining one? www.SMARTRecovery.org is one; there are more here: Resources for our recovery
Don’t give up 
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@RubyRebelheart for me, faith in a Loving God has been fundamental in this issue. He is the only One who have demonstrate me unconditional Love, even when I could not stand myself.
And also the contact with other addicts had been fundamental for me.
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Ahh, Maureen, you are definitely not alone here! Seven days is a good start, keep going!
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Congratulations on 7 days. 
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Thanks Matt, I really appreciate your support. It’s like I heard someone say:“This is what hard feels like”.
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Thank you Bomdhil, I really appreciate your support. Yes, my spiritual practice really carries me through this. I have been struggling to quit for three years. It’s just when I amped up my daily practice of studying, praying and meditation that I have been able to make it to seven days.
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Thank you Pattycake. I really appreciate your support. I definitely will keep going. On to a better future!
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Thank you so much!!
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@RubyRebelheart remember how unconditional important you are for Him.
Let’s pray for each other 
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How is Day #8 going?
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How are you doing Maureen?
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Hi SoberGuy and Dana, yes so much better, Thank you! What a rollercoaster this proces is. But a thing I keep reminding myself of is that this is what hard feels like and to allow the feeling to be and not run from it anymore. They are my feelings, why would I be scared of them. They will pass. And to allow myself to walk through the discomfort of change. It helps when I am feeling really low.
How are you doing?
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