Way too many life changes

I’m 259 days sober today. I’ve just moved to another city to live with my significant other and started at a new job this week. We’re really hitting a rocky spot with my SO and I’ve just packed my bags, I’ve got no idea where I’m going to spend the night if I really do go.

I feel like I’m only proud of myself and my accomplishments, including days sober, when someone else is, too. Since my SO has been the person who I feel validates me the most, I feel like I’m very close to just saying fuck it and downing a bottle.

I’m so exhausted mentally and emotionally.


Don’t do it !!! 259 is a lot of days!! I wouldn’t want to start over again after that. Remember you are all you have, validate yourself. Fights with s/o are especially challenging, but they happen and you just have to work through it. Don’t leave if you don’t have anywhere to go, if you love and want to be with your s/o stay and work through it. Drinking will only make things more difficult in the long run and obscure your mind set. I’m routing for you to stay sober !!!


Thank you for your kind and encouraging words @Dee18 :slight_smile: I’m just feeling really tired, like everything is piling up and falling apart all at once. I don’t know how to process this much and I guess that’s what I used to use alcohol for.

Process things one at a time… Tale a deep breath. You can do this!
I know fighting with one of the people you love the most sucks, but so doesnt relapsing! Trust me! It will only make things worse, then your going to be kicking yourself in the ass for drinking. And youre having trouble dealing with things now, try drinking on top of that… WAY WORSE! I dont know everything, but one thing i do know is where your at. I have 261 days and the struggle is real. My job sucks. Im broke. My bills arent paid… Life happens, but we can get through it sober. I promise if you make it through today you will only get stronger! Its one more day that we can put behind us…
I dont know what youre fighting about, but im sure it can be talked about and you guys can work through it. You didnt move there to just throw everything away after a fight. If you need to take a few minutes away, go for a drive or something. But leave your things and go back.
And you should be very proud of yourself. Dont doubt yourself what so ever. One day is an accomplishment, let alone 259 days. You got this. Its not your first day sober and its not going too be your last! Hang on and hang in there…
Remember its Just for Today… Take it a hour at a time if you have to. But staying sober will be worth it in the long run…


As alcoholics we drank and hid from life. We buried emotions down deep or just swept them under the rug. Both parties of the relationship do this in they’re own way during addiction.

So now that we are sober, a “rocky patch” seems like the end of the world. Instead of talking about our emotions with our love, we still bury them. We still sweep them away for later. Instead of asking what the other is feeling we fill our heads with what we THINK they are feeling.

It’s a habit that’s hard to break. It takes time and practice like everything else. Maybe it would be a good idea to share your feelings and emotions with eachother. Not a fight, a discussion between spouses. That would be a lot more productive than drinking for a temporary fix IMO.


I totally understand, alcohol is how I coped with things as well. I find writing when I want to drink or am experiencing too many emotions at once really helps. Even if it doesn’t make any sense just write it. Get it out of your head and on paper. It seems to feel like a weight is lifted off me when I do that. I like to write all the crazy thoughts that enter my head, or all the things I want to say but don’t really want to say… I vent when I write, I cry, I say things I wouldn’t want anyone to see. But it helps, for me. I’m only 21 days sober but it has been a very challenging 21 days. I could only hope to be at as many days as you. Keep on keeping on. We are all here for you!!

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Thank you for your reply @Just4Today , it was exactly what I needed. Congratulations on your sobriety, we’re pretty close in count :slight_smile: I’m wishing all the best for you and I hope your situation gets better and I wish you strength in your struggles. At least we are sober and facing the good and the bad with a clear head.

Thank you for the support, guys. I really needed it. I’m still here but today my SO told me they no longer want to do anything with me (go places, see things). I guess I’ve been a negative Nancy and they had enough of it. I’m going to have to come up with things to do alone now. Any suggestions? Preferably things that make me get out of the house…

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