Hi I am looking for some advice and support. I am a weekend binge drinker which means I choose either a Friday or Saturday to do my drinking. Its always only one night a weekend one of these days. Ill drink up to a case of beer and its hard for me to moderate which i know need to quit since moderation is impossible for me. I’m stuck in this rut where the next day will consist of me being so hungover that I cant leave my bed and end up sleeping all day. Im going to quit again and basically looking for advice and support of how you guys have stayed sober on the weekends. I am also single and live alone so that contributes to the boredom sometimes that causes me to want to drink. I do have several hobbies that im going to get back to doing. I think the biggest struggle is feeling lonely.
You are worth more as a person than a case of beer on a Saturday night. Alcohol really doesn’t do anything positive for a person. I don’t miss hangovers or any of that bullshit.
If you are a binge drinker like you ore a formal every day drinker like me doesn’t matter: moderation is no option for us.
We can’t do just one.
So if you want change, you have to quit all.
Keeping myself busy was key for me, as well as being here every day to talk, read and connect.
So come here if you feel lonely, there is always someone to talk to!
I hear you!! I know that lonely feeling all too well and wanting to just drink the time away because of boredom.
The first couple weekends when I was breaking the habit were hard - you’re so used to the beers, that you have intense cravings; don’t listen to the whispers! They lie.
I make mocktails and tea to change it up, and make plans. I am gardening more, training for running races, and gettin’ shit done - and it feels great
Are there meetups for the hobby’s you want to revisit? Or maybe you could start one if it doesn’t yet exist??
I was a weekend binge drinker too. For decades. I stopped drinking over nine years ago. It was hard at first. I wasn’t physically addicted but I was mentally dependent. I had to steer clear of my drinking buddies who I later learned were different than my actual friends. I developed rituals like drinking seltzer with lime in a wine glass at night when I got home from work. I tried half a dozen new hobbies most of which I wound up ditching. Over time, I picked up a serious walking habit which I’ve maintained and feel goes hand in hand with my sobriety (and through the combo lost over 30 or so pounds which I’ve kept off). I eventually found my way back to old passions like writing and going to the theatre and reading. My life is much better now that I’m sober. I’m healthy and happier.
The beginning is hard and you have to allow for the discomfort that comes with quitting something you’ve grown dependent on. I had to relearn how to have fun and how to redefine what is fun. Getting shitfaced was my idea of having fun for way too long.
Give yourself grace in the beginning and allow yourself to watch endless crappy television and eat sugar by the handful like I did in the beginning, if it helps. Quitting is hard even if you’re not a daily drinker. Social media is a killer in the beginning, or it was for me. It’s hard to see your friends all drinking and having what appears to be the time of their lives. I remember feeling left out and resentful. And I was left out. People will drop you — some people will anyway. My real friendships sustained the transition.
It gets easier over time and waking up feeling healthy and without remorse and regret for what I might have said or done the night before is lovely.
I was similar to you. Would binge on a weekend…could go weeks or days inbetween but had no sense of moderation. I would crave drinking on the off days or during bigger moments of stress. I’m newly sober…25 days now but so far I have found it very helpful to check in on this group every day and like to write the gratitudes. Those have both helped me. But I have also been very open with my closest friends about my addiction and have made plans on my weekends to stay distracted or busy. The biggest help has been that on the weekend I’ve spent the evenings with my friend so I’m not alone. I also live alone and had a strict rule with myself about not drinking infront of other people…so for me having a supportive friend there has really helped. It has been difficult with some hard anxiety loaded days and also some very good days. But all in all I feel good. Hope this helps some…
I was a weekend binge drinker too. Eventually it progressed to both days on the weekends. Then some weekdays. And then to every day. It’s progressive and doesn’t ever get better-I can not have just one. By the end if I drank, I couldn’t stop anymore until I blacked out.
It’s great you are here and seeking support. It’s a great community with a lot to offer so I hope you stick around to discover the freedom many of us have discovered. There really is a better way to live in sobriety.
Hi Charlie, I’m 4 years sober and I can relate to a lot of what you are saying. I couldn’t say no to a night out and id only drink to get drunk. Id throw any drink down my neck wasting hundreds of pounds every weekend to then be riddled with anxiety and guilt on a Monday morning. This wont be for everyone but I spoke with an alcohol counsellor once a week for 6 months and I found this really supportive. I also stopped going out with friends who in reality were only drinking buddies and we just used each other to have someone to drink with. What I would say is that you can change and you can start doing the hobbies you enjoy but you have to want to stop and not just say it because you’ve had a tough weekend and are hungover. This app is great for support.
So many good replies here.
I was a binge drinker, but it’d be 3 or 4 nights per week (originally started as 1 night). Black out drunk most of the time to the point I couldn’t remember conversations from the previous night. Woke up next day and did my family or work duties feeling pretty crap. By the end of the day, hangover is gone, and I’m ready to drink again.
I realised by myself, and was later validated in a book I read, that all I really wanted was that feeling of the first drink, that 20 minute high you get. Unfortunately it starts to take longer and more beers to get that feeling, and then you try chasing that feeling again with every subsequent drink. Your body physically changes to reduce the impact of drinking, it’s trying to save you but we go 10x harder instead.
It’s literally just a chemical reaction in the brain saying “ooh this is good”. Once you have that first drink you lose all inhibitions to stop drinking more. That’s why they say it’s all about that first drink. There is no moderation.
Good luck. Check in daily and don’t wait for the cravings before jumping in here. Reading personal stories and sharing your own will change your life for the better.