No part of me is pushing or splitting blame on my personal habits based around finding friends that also struggle… But I would be lying if I didn’t say there was a portion of influence that came with said friends.
Over my six years being a struggling alcoholic, my worst years are behind me, no question, I’ve slimmed and changed my social interactions drastically. I started as a 19 year old bar rat that spent almost every nickle I made on beer nights three to four times a WEEK. I wouldn’t even need to order, if a bartender saw me outside, he’d have my drink ready for me by the time I sat down.
Everyone in my life was a drinking buddy. I made blurry memories with blurry faces that I couldn’t recall now adays. The relationships we’re so based on that bar that when I decided to cut the bar life, those friends disappeared almost over night.
Now I am in a different state of my life, even with my leaf turned over, I still struggle seeing one or two of my closest friends without bringing a six pack with me. I’ve gotten to terms that I do have abusive tendancies and I wave through success and failure, but the people I keep in my life are important and worthy now. It’s not as much “cutting them out” now as it is “would it change the relationship a lot for me to stop, but for them to continue drinking?”
Just some thoughts I’m chewing on today.