Ugh the sheer desperation when the booze runs out, it is disgusting so was what i did, it makes slaves of us all but we can beat it, together, thankfully
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I can’t help but laugh at some of this…I mean…it’s TERRIBLE…but kinda funny what stupid drugs make perfectly good people do…
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Yeah its funny as you said in a very dark way 
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So a “ritual” of mine was getting in wine for when I was doing house work, because it was “boring” without it… But then after one glass I’d just lose interest and not actually do the house work and just get drunk instead, so my house was constantly a complete shit tip and I could never invite anyone in our even barely open the front door because it smelled and looked so bad
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I can relate so much to this! I’d have all these productive weekend plans, and then I’d think same as you, everything is more fun with alcohol, and then I’d end up just passed out with nothing accomplished.
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It’s crazy how alcohol makes you not care about things like that. During my fifth of vodka per day phase I let the yard get way out of control. I stopped cutting the back yard. Eventually it was so bad it was like a forest and I had to pay someone to plow it all down.
I found dead animals back there and snack wrappers, beer cans, soda bottles where people were apparently chilling. Maybe homeless people were sleeping there idk. It was the most wooded area in town.
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I don’t miss that look of pain and disappointment in my wife’s eyes every morning after I drank until I passed out the night before, which had become as regular as the sunrise in my life. I felt as if I was making withdrawals on an account that was almost to zero…and in reality I was.
I don’t miss that anticipation I had as the clock ticked on to the end of the work day, so I could have my first drink, which would inevitably lead to the second and third and eighth.
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The extra laundry.
The dissociation after acting out all night.
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In my head I would always refer to the morning after as “Damage Control”…picking up bottles…trying to find all my shit (keys, phone, ID)…in a rush before work. UGH
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Oh my god…yes! Always losing my shit and finding it in weird ass places. I don’t find my tv remote underneath my car seat in sobriety. 
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remotes…grrr. i would sometimes just use the roku app, but eventually just kept buying replacement remotes at about $10 a pop…
now i have so many i had to figure a way to mark them with cases or washi tape to know which goes to what tv/device.
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I got up one day went to jump in the car for work to find the door open and the lights still on! Oh yeah and an obviously flat battery 
i did an at home covid test once and instead of mailing it to the test centre i mailed it back to my own address
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Once I called in sick but it was still Sunday morning, not Monday.
I’m disgusted with my old self.
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“Pregaming” before going out. By the time I’m at the bar I’ve already had more than enough to drink… but still would immediately order a drink lol.
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I drove to work once at 7PM thinking it was 7AM. It’s OK.
Glad we’re HERE today and SOBER together. 
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Well let’s see. Buying stuff, I don’t need, on Amazon. Getting my drinks 3 at a time so I think I’m controlling myself (which never works). In the past I used to send drunk texts I don’t anymore. Renting movies from prime that I never finished watching. Going to the different gas stations in a 5-10 mile radius so they don’t catch on. I seemed to worry a lot about what people thought, but I never concerned with what I thought about it.
Or sadly my wife.
Which is why I a determined to win at the 100 days sober challenge!
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I figure that it starts with neglect of things like self care and cleanliness and then eventually takes bigger things like hobbies and then eventually our ability to sustain ourselves, like our employment and health and then finally our lives. So sad, but true.
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You’re right. It’s not always instant either. I drank regularly in my early 20s (even before that when I could get it). When I moved on my own I always kept my house and yard neat and had no trouble with employment while still drinking. Not to say it was ok to drink that much in my 20s since that began the gradual decline. It finally caught up in my mid 30s.
I guessing as brain cells die you care less about everything. Or maybe it’s the depression and anxiety from alcohol reaching the next level. Recovery periods lasting longer, etc. All I know is it got harder to function normally as years of drinking passed.
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This is a great thread. One of the blessings of sobriety is the ability to look back and laugh at the past.
I totally get the going to different places to purchase wine (just in case the clerks notice) Or the I’m having book club over (to explain why I’m buying wine at 8:00am). Eventually I just went to Costco where everyone buys in bulk (no explanation needed).
Thanks everyone for the morning reminders on why the choice to be sober. I really needed it today.
Hugs
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It seems like a lot of us did it.
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