Hey all, I’ve been thinking on this for a bit. There’s the obvious stuff like the hangovers, regrets, embarrassments, shame…
But what else?
For example…I’m still re-learning how to drink a normal drink. My knee-jerk reaction is to drink whatever it is as fast as possible, so it gets in my system lol.
I used to go to a great brunch place in town with my old BF (also an alcoholic btw). Before the server even could place the menus on the table, I was already ordering a peach mimosa. I wanted to get that drink in me fast on an empty stomach. Then she sure as shit better hurry her butt back so when we ordered our food, I could order another…and hopefully get most of it down before the food arrived. It was STRESSFUL!! I did this so many times!!!
And now in very early sobriety, I have to remind myself that I can drink slowly. And drink WITH a meal. It’s actually a relief when I remember I don’t have to down my iced tea as fast as possible.
I’m just curious what others might thing to add. It’s actually been kinda healing writing this out…and reminding myself how RIDICULOUS this all sounds.
Going to the shop as soon as it opens for alcohol, only buy some as I’m not going to drink lots today and then going back in a few hours to buy more and lieing that I’ve got friends over ( like they even care) then going to a different shop early evening so it looks like I’m only having a few for the evening.
And sitting in empty car parks waiting for hours for a complete stranger to give me drugs ( And not always turning up or getting ripped off)
Lol i do the fast drinking thing too! Theres alot of things i had to kinda unlearn myself not to do once i got sober…like hiding bottles, all the time id spend working out how long i had to wait til i could drive, not having to immediately check my phone when i woke up to see if id upset anyone or embarrassed myself ugh the list goes on, what a horrible life addiction really is
I guess I’ll go with the chugging thing also. Before work I’d down a 24 ounce can on an empty stomach. If I was running late I’d chug it all at once as fast as I could and get brain freeze. The pain didn’t matter as long as I had enough of a buzz to get the day started.
I did the chugging thing, too…with cheap, $2 rotgut…the entire half pint in one swoop. For two reasons: to get a fast drunk, and also so I could dispose of the bottle somewhere before coming home. Then I’d pop a couple of Mentos to cover up my booze breath.
I had an assortment of YouTube videos I liked to watch drunk. Like SNL skits or specific music videos. Specific scenes from shows or movies. I’d do this frequently. So many nights doing pretty much nothing on repeat lol.
Exactly that, it helps to remember how bad it was, i hate the stuff now it literally makes me feel physically sick when i think about it…when i crave it now i know its not actually the drink i crave its the escape route when shit gets tough im looking for but now i work through things instead as best i can
I’m guilty of all of those! Mainly the fast drinking, I’d chug a tall boy and take a couple shots to start my day, then hide the empty containers until I went to the store to get more and finally throw away the old ones.
Just another reason I’m grateful to be sober!
Wow! It is amazing how many things we have in common. I used to sit in front of the computer and watch YouTube videos, movie, clips, old, boxing matches, music videos, and just sit there and pound beers. Also, I was the same as you with the before dinner drink, except mine was a bloody Mary and I would tell them to make it a triple. It was almost like I hope the food would never come. But now, like you said: you can enjoy a regular drink with a meal.
I enjoy thinking about what I am actually thirsty for these days. In the last few years of my drinking days I would really have to think out my mental gymnastics when ordering from the bartender. Whiskey made the night too short, beer made the night too long etc. I think my body was bored of drinking long before my brain caught up.
Now I really enjoy sitting down and ordering a lemonade or a root beer because my body is craving a bit of sugar. I enjoy consuming things now. And now when I eat pizza I don’t stuff it in my face to soak up a hangover, I am enjoying the taste.
