Realized I’m tired of being on the brink of losing everything… again. I kicked a 6 year drug addiction about 5 years ago just to turn to the bottle. Standing here fixing my family dinner thinking about a glass of wine but posted this instead. Small steps
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Good for you Callie. Do the 5-4-3-2-1 to ground yourself and get that squirrelly mind back on the ground:
5 things you see
4 things you feel
3 things you hear
2 things you smell
1 thing you taste
Then you’re back in the present - and grounded. Repeat as often as necessary 
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It workd thank you!!! I hate how spread out the fellowship has become. There used to be several meetings a day around me now they are few and far between
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It is hard. Have you tried some online meetings?
Would you happen to have the link? Or like a zoom schedule?
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There’s some online options there 
And there’s this one - there’s a meeting just about any time of day (they’re worldwide):
Getting to a meeting beats running around with the crazy monkeys in our heads any day 
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I just search for AA meetings and the name of the town. AA London, AA Amsterdam are a couple of my favorites right now.
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Get in those meetings! So many zoom meetings for AA and NA! Great way to get back out of that preoccupied thought pattern!
Yes it’s the small steps. One minute and one hour and one day at a time will get you there. Wishing you all the best.