Not one to post something like this but I enjoy this app and I think it’s worth a shot even though I have been failing. I’m 28… been drinking since early teens. Partied hard from 14-24. My dad started a company when I was 21 and I quit my job as a chef and built it with him. I somehow managed to somewhat get my shit together enough to keep going which is what I assume is called being a functional alcoholic. However I’ve messed up multiple times where if it weren’t working for my dad I would easily have been fired. I basically drink a 6 pack of 8 percent beer everynight for as long As I can remember. And on some nights more or wine mixed ETC.
I screwed up a serious relationship which probably would have ended up being someone I would have spent my life with if not for my drinking. I work alot and love what I do but 3/5 times I am hungover which I can hide and still perform but I cut corners and am 1000x more efficient and would excel the company if I was sober. The longest I’ve gone in the past 10 years is 21 days I think. In that time I’ve gone at least 7 days or more on 10 different occasions at least. In those times I am ridiculously more efficient as a human being. And I love it. But I end up back in the same cycle and everyday " is the day I will quit"
When I’m sober I barely spend money, extremely frugal social and not lazy. I will cook healthy, work out and plan for my future but I can’t seem to do it more than a week. It just ends up being “one or 2 beers” which ends in chaos. I have never been to AA and have few people to talk to. To be honest this is probably the first time I’ve ever admitted any of this anyone for the most part
I have strong will power with everything else but how in the fuck do I proceed from here. If I don’t get sober I will not be able to pay my bills and will eventually fuck my career up as well with personal relationships. Sorry for the long novel of venting but I feel I need to finally wrote this out. I appreciate anyone who reads this.
There it is! It’s all right there. You know you are a much better person when you’re sober, yet still choose to drink.
You know that if you don’t stop, your world will come crumbling down… what a place to be! To have that insight- to understand that you are at the center of the problem. You’re not blaming anyone else, you’re fully aware that your drinking is the cause of your issues. How do you stop? H.O.W.
Honesty. Openness. Willingness.
If you can get those three down then you will be successful. Be honest with yourself and others. Be open to new ideas- saying “well I don’t do___” is a great way to stay sick, and find your willingness to get sober. Wanting something and being Willing to do the work it takes to get it are miles apart.
This is a crossroads. Make sure your pull to get sober is stronger than the pull to stay where you are. Stick around!
Thank you both for the replies. It is great to read, I’ve always only blamed myself I just find the hardest thing may be to find others who I can hang out with that will be sober…I have no friends at least I can think of that don’t drink, and honestly the best thought of hanging out with people being sober outside of work does not appeal. But I will try. Where does one to to seek out AA meeting and also how do they work? Do you just walk in? I feel I need to do that because I never have before. And I definitely need support as much as I.hate to admit it
This post is a great start!! Focus on the desire you feel when writing this post. Remember it, and come back to it everyday, until it becomes a new belief and the new normal for your way of thinking.
100%. It doesn’t matter if you’re new, been there a million times, or were away for a while. It doesn’t matter how long you’ve been sober. It doesn’t matter whether or not you feel like talking. It’s enough to just want to stop drinking. You’re 100% welcome.
If you mention that you’re new, it’s common for people to pass around a piece of paper (often it’s a schedule of meetings in your area) and write down their phone numbers on it for you to keep. You can call any of those numbers, that’s what they’re there for. Arriving early and hanging around after the meeting are really good ways of getting to know the other people there. Lots of ways to get more support and people to talk to.
I can not stress enough how much meetings have helped me. AA is a huge network world wide that provides unconditional support and fantastic advice from years if experience. You may find yourself in a room with over a century of combined sobriety. People in there have been through the exact same problems. The hardest part is going there, once you’re there you will be so glad you did.
What is going on Bren. I can definitely relate to your story. I am 29 right now and stopped drinking last year when I was 28. It seems that you have the will power to get through this. How bad do you want to get sober and stop drinking? That is what you need to ask yourself. I wish you the best and we are here for you.
Bren, welcome here my friend. You are on the right track and I can only echo what the others have said so far. I am 20 years older than you, but I wish I had as much insight and intelligence as you do right now, 20 years ago. Do this now and you can have an incredible sober life. But it sounds to me like you know what you need to do. For me, the 3/5 in my 20’s became 5/5 which became 7/7, and the PMs became mid day, which became any time. Someday you will look back at this moment and 1 of 2 things will be said. 1) I wish I had quit then, or 2) I’m so glad I quit then. So do it!
Go online and find some AA meetings around you, pop into one and check it out, see how you feel. I’d recommend going to a few different ones, they can have a different feel depending on the group of people. I go to NA but attend big AA speaker meetings 1x a month. I’m an alcoholic yes but have also an addiction to anything that is mind altering and have had drug problems in my past so NA fits my needs best. You need to make the first steps to get to meetings, start putting in the work to getting/staying sober. An amazing journey awaits! Good luck and check in here, when you need anything…we are all here for each other!
You are still so young and have a good career path and u r very aware of the bad choices and consequences. Take one day at a time and trust me when I say the best part of your life is ahead of u and you’ll be happier if u can remember it and enjoy it instead of always being drunk and hung over.
Day 1again for me… I can relate to you. Positive vibes. And keep pushing for better results. Longest I’ve been sober is about 26 days or so and then once I “reward” myself with a drink, i continue to keep it rolling till I’m back again, like shit… I might try AA. Idk.
Thanks again all for the replies. Tonight is my first night sober in months I think at least lol. Worked a 10 hour shift. Not really having cravings but trying to figure out what to do with myself now haha. Fortunately I love to cook so I will probably make something soon to keep my mind off things. I really appreciate all the support I have gotten on here. I’m glad I made that post. I definitely plan on checking in on TS everyday. This is an awesome app ! And you guys are all awesome as well! I know I’ll have a crappy sleep tonight but I can get through it. @Ash143 Stay strong this is my first day too !
I’ll start by saying that AA is saving my life!! I, like you, couldn’t go a day without drinking. The last two years or so I drank a minimum of a pint of vodka a day, if not a 5th. The night I finally said I needed to go to AA was the night after my second DUI. I was scared out of my mind walking in but finally found “my people” lol. The first 6 months were tough and relapsed a few times. But guess what, those same people kept saying keep coming back! Today I’m coming up on a year sober!! It can be done and you can do it!! You might not like the first meeting you go to, try others. I never thought I could have fun sober but I do!! Good luck on your journey my friend!
Hey welcome! As you have already seen there is lots of support here. Keep checking in, good days and bad days we’ve got your back.
The Frequently Asked Questions thread is good, it has links to lots of posts which you might find helpful. My advice is to read as much as you can here and reach out whenever you need to. I have learned so much from this forum, even reading experiences of people quite different to me (in terms of drug of choice, lifestyle, country, background etc) I can often find things to relate to.
A phrase you will see often is ‘play the tape to the end’. What really happens when you drink? Try and picture that end result the next time you think, oh one won’t hurt. It’s never just one and there’s a reason you want to break the cycle. Keep that reason in mind and use it to motivate you!
That might mean going out a bit less to start with while you find your sober groove. That’s ok. There’s no rush. A month or a year or whatever feels like forever when it’s stretching out in front of you, but when you look back it’s gone in a flash. Just take it one day at a time and cross each bridge as you come to it.
welcome! As you have already seen there is lots of support here. Keep checking in, good days and bad days we’ve got your back.