My relapses are the worst. I agreed to drink on Saturday with friends because I ordered the Mayweather fight…this led me to say screw it on Friday, Sunday, Monday and Tuesday as well…Now I’m just trying to get back on track. This sucks.
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Easy to do! I’m trying to not reset this clock! You know you can do it!
I’m going to just say it you didn’t agree to it. You are in active addiction. When you hurt bad enough you won’t plan a drinking day/event. I’m sorry but I understand relapse happen (I went through 100-1000’s) but I can look back at it now and be honest with myself. I had the notion of sobriety but no desire to put the effort in to make it happen. I guess is what I’m seeing is you know your life is unmanageable but you have no drive to change it. Just my two cents. Sorry it’s blunt I just think you are in denial and doing a dis service to the community talking about a planned drinking event
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I agree with you. But the hard truth has to be said to the community! This wasn’t an oops! It’s active addiction. It would be us enabling him to not be honest. And how many other people that lurk read this and think okay see I’m not so bad? I know I’m the harsh voice occasionally but I do feel like he needs to hear it.
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Perhaps by saying “agreed” he is admitting he made a choice placing responsibility on himself rather than meaning that he succumbed to his friend’s pressure and placing responsibility on them. I may be misinterpreting. Regardless, OP you can do this. Social situations are really difficult for me too. I am only 10 days in so my advice may have questionable value but, don’t let guilt eat you up, let it motivate you. Put one foot in front of the other. Day 1 is just as important as all the other days.
Sorry to chime in here as I am still a newbie in this sober life. Any how I find both of your points valid. Ultimately it is up to the individual and how bad they want this. Any advice is good advice and tough love is always welcomed. To me it’s real simple. You decide to choose sobriety cause your committed so therefore you do everything and anything in your power to stay sober. Which can include inviting people over, just don’t drink like you have committed to yourself. It’s not that easy but it’s also not that hard. Back to the commitment, do you want it or not??
I lived in denial for years, and the last 3 years I prayed I could just quit. And I was like you I was the king of shame and guilt they are all I had at that moment. I don’t want to add to anyone’s pain by me being honest with them. But I don’t feel that it’s fair to just let this parade through here and not say the hard facts. Yeah I know it might not get heard for what it is but it isn’t good for someone struggling to read this and go well shit if someone else is planning things then I can numb this pain tonight.? When I say it I try to deliver it as soft as possible but there wasn’t any way to tiptoe around it. I respect your approach as well I actually think we would get along well in life because we both see the truth of this beast. We just have different styles at expressing it. But I was not able to hold my tongue on that post! I think we have to point people in the right direction give a little nudge and let them stumble. Okay I’m going to stop here because I know I’m getting harsher as I try to explain why I feel we have to call this what it is. I will happily debate it with you though 
. You are just as justified to give encouragement and try to pick him up.
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O.k., as we all say there are lots of different beliefs ,actions,and styles on here. This I a prime example,so @Bkeim2 here is your part. You are being given two viewpoints,you really need to examine both and see what you come up with. There is good and valid points in both. The test is what you do with this. I totally understand no one wants to be beat over the head about an occurrence like this. On the other side, “agreeing” to do this doesn’t wash either. In the end you’re the one calling the shots and dealing with the consequences.
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Yup, just 15 days ago I convinced myself nothing would happen if I had a drink with my boss. Well, it didn’t stop at one drink…I ended up getting a DUI that night😑 Super bummed, just got my car back from being in a body shop for weeks and now I won’t be able to just drive where I want. NOT worth it!!!
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“My relapses are the worst” OP, August 2017.