Welp cant shake it this time

I was able to beat it before when I was younger. Now with a wife for daughter and everything I thought I wanted. I keep going right back. I use this app mostly to just reset it sometimes 5 days mostly 3 or 4. Same circle same thing happens. 3 4 days I feel great fuck up do it again. Fight the withdraws in the sickness. Kind of get over it then go right back to it. Haven’t told anybody can’t really tell anybody. This kind of feels good to get it out there. Good luck to everybody graduation to anybody that’s kicked the monkey. I’ll get it before it gets me hopefully

12 Likes

In my experience, cocaine was way more difficult to quit than alcohol. Im not even really sure how i stopped to begin with, but staying away from it was way harder for those first 6 months. Ive posted a couple times on here about my experience with cocaine, its my 3rd most recent comment on here if you want to read it from my activity. I will say that id probably be dead by now if i had kept up at the rate i was funneling that shit down my blowhole. I got to a point where i was literally just speeding up doing nothing at all. Scrolling through feeds and videos with zero attention span for like 8 to 10 hours just repeatedly doing lines for no reason. Doing lines even when they werent doing anything anymore. I could go to sleep in 20 minutes because i was so completely tapped and strung out. I feel you, man. Ive been there. I hope you find the reason to stop soon, buddy. Itll save you a lot of money, i expect. Lol

1 Like

Hey i completely understand. My most recent demon was crack cocaine and i could never get past 3 days clean for the longest time… until one day i manage to and im now at 318 days clean. There is hope! My story with this is very much the same as urs. Id feel awful, go thru withdrawl, then by day 3 id seem to “forget” how bad things were and why i wanted to quit, and then go and use. What helped me was to actually write out my reasons why i quit. And i was very raw about it bcuz i needed to really remember the physical and mental anguish I went thru. Every time i thot of using id read this list. I also had a list of the benefits of staying clean. Id read that also. I used alot of distraction, deep breathing, and even some meditation if ur into that. Anything to calm the mind and calm down intense emotion. The important thing to remember is that our addictive minds lie to us about drugs and that we need it (when in fact we really dont). If ur able to tell when ur addict mind is talking, u then know when to not listen to it. It always sounds like lies such as… itll be different this time, its not so bad, i need it to cope, its been a stressful day maybe i can have one, etc. Those are just examples. But challenge those thoughts when they pop up. You only have today so just focus on today and staying clean for the next 24 hours :slight_smile: before u know it you will have time under ur belt :slight_smile:

6 Likes

You keep going back because you’re not done yet. I’ve been there myself. I did cocaine for so many years and it got to the point that it wasn’t even fun anymore and didn’t have the same effect. The first line was great but after that I’d be chasing that high but all it did was make me sick. I finally got sick and tired of being sick and tired. The money I wasted was also sickening.

7 Likes

Have you tried CA? You’ve admitted you’ve got a problem that’s half of step 1 at least.
I’ve never used cocaine, alcohol was my drug of choice so I don’t know how hard it is to kick it into touch, but, what I do know is I couldn’t get sober without help, I tried alone but it never ever worked.
I went into rehab and then to the AA rooms and they have kept me on beam, on program and sober.
I wish you every success in the future and hope you can get clean & sober soon.

2 Likes

My DOC is alcohol so I won’t say things are the same…but I totally get that 3, 4, 5 days then relapse. It’s like it is easier when you feel physically shitty. But when you feel better that is when your mind starts trying to convince you to go back.

What I did was write myself a letter WHILE I was feeling my worst. I wrote in detail how I was feeling physically as well as writing out all the reasons why I wanted to stay sober.

I was then able to pull out this letter when I was feeling tempted to go back and remember those feelings. It allowed me to tell myself “NO!! These thoughts I’m having are LIES. I will not go back.”

YOU CAN DO IT!!

5 Likes

Addiction is different for everyone. When i was hitting the slopes, and twisting the moon whistle, i got violently ill on a 14 day bender. The doctor told me the drugs were going to kill me, i needed to sober up. I had an intestinal infection and needed antibiotics and she put me on th B.R.A.T. diet. For 3 weeks i ate only bananas, rice, apples, and toast. That was enough for me to kick the cane. Its been 22 years ago. Cold turkey :turkey:

Learn a lesson from my book bro, that shit will kill you. Take steps to create a healthier life for yourself. Its your life, take hold of it and take control!

6 Likes

Dude sound like the same person
I stopped meth when i was younger never had a issue in 18 year with trying it again. But this thing man… i will take. Ball to the face in a day and like u say do nothing
Thanks for taking the time to say something

1 Like

My post was completely past tense and I’m 3.5 years clean but thank you for your concern @Lezourez.

Have you sought professional help such as rehab or substance abuse counseling?