Went out to the bar after 60 day sobriety 😩

Ok, you read the title. So last night a friend of mine was hosting an event at a bar in Brooklyn. It was great. The music was good, the vibes was there and the drinks were floating around. Here’s what I experienced. Nothing, absolutely nothing! This was my first time going out to the bar in over 3 months almost, and my biggest fear “didn’t” come to pass. I didn’t drink nor had the urge to. I had a refreshing non- alcoholic mojito. Could have gotten other NA drinks but I was on a time crunch so to speak. I was amazed at how easy I turned down a drink offered to me. Anyways, I had a great time and amazed on how little money I spent. It was nice seeing others getting buzzed around me and I didn’t feel as bad as I thought. Given I was being a sober rover . Has anyone else been out since choose the dry and sober road? What was the experience like?

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I find this to be true in most cases. We get in our own heads imagining what others will say and do and we play out how we might react, good or bad. In a way it’s good to have these fears as they keep us on guard to protect our sobriety.

The bar scene was my jam. I spent more time at the bar than I did at home.

After getting sober (this time), I pumped the brakes on the bar scene, though I’ve had a few times I was at a bar.

I’ve had mixed experiences.

Once I went to a conference for work at a casino and all of the vendor dinners and parties were at the various bars. It was work and didn’t really know anyone so I mingled a bit to make an appearance then went to my room. It was uncomfortable because I didn’t know anyone and I’m kind of shy so it was just meh.

I’ve been to a a local tap house a couple of times for dinner with my family. It’s not necessarily a “bar” in the traditional sense. It was a fine experience.

I have recently, last week, met a guy at a bar to talk about an upcoming gig. I have not stepped foot in a bar like that since getting sober 4 and a half years ago. Idk, it felt gross, was dark and had shady characters hunched over their drinks looking at me while Bob Seger faintly played in the background… very unwelcoming. We talked shop, I had a couple soda waters w/cran and took off. It’s not really an experience I’d like to repeat.

As far as resisting temptation, it was easy to resist because I don’t drink. The more I say it, the more true it becomes.

Congrats on 60 days! And here’s to many more to come!

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Also as a side thought, many people come and go on this forum. Sometimes their tenure is measured in years, sometimes its measured in days. While the success stories are inspiring, it is the unsuccessful stories hold the most value.

There was once a person, years ago, who was trying to get sober. Their romantic partner was a bar tender and they would go to the bar after work and wait their partner to get off. At first they were fine. They’d drink a soda or something. They were proud of themselves. But one day, they had a bad day at work and they ordered a beer, but it was just one. A few days later, it happened again. Then again, but it was 3 beers. Then, that person vanished, never seen again.

Even though they were a minor part of the Talking Sober saga, that person’s story stuck with me.

As they say, If you hang around the barbershop long enough, sooner or later you’ re going to get a haircut.

It’s stories like this that have helped me stay vigilant in protecting my sobriety!

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Well done on your 60 days, thats a great achievement. I’m at 62 days and your experience resonanted with me and felt similar to you when i went to a local music event with friends. I told my friends i would not be drinking and they were supportive and understood. I was dancing, people watching and fully enjoying myself. I didn’t miss having a drink and going home i felt proud of myself and waking the next morning with a clear head is fantastic and i’m holdng onto these positive feelings.

I’m very protective about my AF journey and wish you well on yours.

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That’s very true. It’s easy to talk about the wins, but harder to address the losses. However, I look at those losses as unwanted but needed opportunities. :100:

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4 days a week. I’m actually a bartender :sweat_smile::sweat_smile: work doesn’t really bother me though. My acamprosate and lexapro is helping me a lot I think. Plus seeing drunk people just makes me realize how ridiculous I looked while drinking 24/7. I am however very nervous going to a concert in may. I think I will skip it for now and try those types of things later on in my sobriety. 90 days in and I don’t want to give myself any chance of messing it up. I used alcohol originally to self medicate for my anxiety. Driving in the city in concert traffic with people who are going to get wasted is going to be a huge trigger for me. I think I’d rather stay in that night and rest :relieved:

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Congratulations on 60 days and living your life to the fullest in sobriety bc the world doesn’t stop cause we do not drink. For me and this just for me i don’t put myself in them position if i don’t have to. My son got married and i was there but when the drinks got to flowing i left. I applauded all who can hang but for me if i go to the barbershop enough eventually am going to get a haircut. Congrats on 60 and continue on your journey ODAAT.

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I feel that. To sober living !

My first real test was the annual sales kickoff at the company I was working for at the time. It was in AC NJ, at a casino/hotel. 3 days, meetings during the day, no problem. But the evenings were social events, and lots of free booze, plus free drinks in the casino if you were playing. I had no problem drinking soft drinks, while my colleagues got drunk, although there were a few who didn’t drink, so I wasn’t alone in my sobriety. I was fresh and ready to go for the meetings each day, instead of nursing a hangover. A couple of my peers were embarrassed by their behavior. One guy ended up getting fired for unwanted sexts while drunk. I felt bad for him, but more so for his wife and kids. Must have been tough for him traveling home early, and having to tell his wife that he’d been fired.

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Very good move. Your sobriety is precious. You’ll know when the time is right.

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Damn. I know that feel. One of the things I don’t miss is the immense feeling of shame and regret the next morning. Especially by behavior. Seeing those people the next time feeling like their judging you. Based off what you said or did being drunk. :joy::joy::joy:

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