What are 4 things that will not keep you sober?

Advice & Questions
1

My sponsor asked me this question today and I’m having a hard time narrowing it down. Need some examples. Please help.

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2

Pride, lust, gluttony, greed… wait, I think that’s the wrong list.

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No that sounds about right. Pride is a reason for me not to stay sober.

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for me…

-willpower - my willpower is absolute dog shit. i just can’t count on my willpower to keep a drink out of my hand. it has not worked to date.
-resentments - resentments. those fuckers will put a drink in my hand if i keep them around. i actively work to do the opposite.
-dishonesty - honesty does not come naturally to me, but i’m finding it makes for such a better life.
-self centeredness - i am the type of alcoholic who thinks they are a piece of trash, yet a piece of trash that the world revolves around. when i get to thinking it’s all about me i’m not thinking well.

narrowing it down to four is tough for me. there are so many things that will simply not keep me sober. but, i think this is a great question and i’m glad you posted it

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Wow thanks this is also a huge example for me. I also felt posting it might help ppl

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10

I think y’all are coming at this from the wrong way. He didn’t ask what will cause you to drink. He asked what are 4 things that will NOT keep you sober?

It’s like the no one can make you get sober thing. No one can keep you sober either.

Example for me would be my wife and my kids can’t keep me sober. Neither can my sponcer for that matter. They can influence me to stay sober for sure. But the only person that can keep me sober is me.

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11

You’ve got my gears turning on this one. I feel it’s a trick question in a lot of ways. A lot of people will say their Higher Power “keeps” them sober. In my mind that’s not the right word. “Helps” me stay sober is closer to it for me. Cuz if I decide I’m gonna drink then there ain’t a damn thing God or anyone else can do about about it.

Free will ya know? but at the same time without my higher power I would not be sober. Period. What a paradox. Lol.

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12

Secrecy is a big one for me. I initially thought it was just being secretive about my drinking but I’m the same in many aspects of my life.

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13

FOMO (fear of missing out), is one of mine I suppose. Sitting at home watching TV sober makes me feel like I’m missing out on the fun that drinkers are having.

The reverse happens the next morning when I wake up hangover-free :slight_smile:

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Same!!! I totally relate.

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  1. Negative Feedback Loop. You will not stay sober if you’re constantly in your head, feeling like you’re missing out, or, if you allow stressors to enable that slippery slope that ends in you using.

  2. Burning Bridges and Building Bridges. You won’t stay sober until you have successfully removed all the temptation and connects you had to your former life. Likewise, building on the relationships you cherish, the ones you know will help you grow and continue on the right path. You have to replace those old shoddy bridges with ones that are sturdy and lead you somewhere. You won’t stay sober without support.

  3. Old Habits. I can’t tell you how much it has hindered me in the past by clinging to my old ways. How can one expect to remain sober if you live the exact same way, the exact same apathetic lifestyle? Sitting on the couch high as a kite is great, sitting on the couch sober and expecting to not be triggered is a little foolish. I find that reading, exercise and music help a lot with boredom/tidium of early sobriety.

  4. Fear of Failure and Forgiveness. Finally, I think it would be impossible to be sober if you can’t forgive yourself or others. Likewise, failure is not only a facet of sobriety, but life in general. Being scared and angry are conducive to relapse. And if you DO relapse, forgive yourself, reach out, and learn from it. Yes, you slipped up. But that isn’t an excuse to go on a week-long bender.

Thanks for the topic.

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Terror,Bewilderment, Frustration, Despair , chapter 11 big book

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Huh, that’s odd. Chapter 11 of the Big Book? I could have sworn that Terror, Bewilderment, Frustration and Despair was the name of my Autobiography :joy:.

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18

#1 thing that will not keep me sober is the wanting to be free of the consequences of drinking without any effort on my part. In other words, the expectation that wishing things were different is sufficient for change. In AA, the only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking. But that desire, uncoupled from effort and from success, is not sufficient. It is necessary but not sufficient. I can want to want to not drink, but as long as I keep bending my elbow, as long as I tell myself that one more day drinking and one or two more drinks doesn’t matter, I will not keep my hard won sobriety. Blessings on your house.

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Complacency

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20

My friends and family won’t keep me sober. That’s my job.

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Wishing to be sober without working at it. I tried that for years.

Feeling resentful.

Letting my ego take control of my life.

Not having a plan when I am around alcohol.

Although @Gabe.G may be right. In that case, I would say that, as much as I might want, my family, my friends, my sponsor, and my AA buddies will not keep me sober. They are all huge motivators and help - but I am responsible for myself.

Great question.

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23

Here’s mine
Pride. Frustration and despair. Lack of acceptance

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24

H.A.L.T. - Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired

These are all basic triggers that we often overlook because we are so mired in the details. Think broad strokes.

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25

My own best thinking is only thing that won’t keep me sober. No one forces me to drink. It’s a choice I make.

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