I am sorry to hear about your negative anxiety. Hope you are able to find a way to calm your mind and body. Would yoga or meditation help? We have wonderful threads for both here.
Meditation for Serenity 2021-2025! (tips, tricks & discussion/ 4 years running woot!)
Sending you some calming vibes friend. Sometimes I need to get lost in watching mindless tv, playing games on my phone and working puzzles – anything to not get stuck thinking of the urges. This too shall pass 