What are your rules for staying sober?

hii, what are your rules for staying sober and being productive? maybe it’s related to keep clean your room or find new people? i think everyone needs some advices and i’m wondering if there are many people who can fall into apathy even when they have clear rules and a well-structured life because i can, that’s common thing for me :smiling_face_with_tear:

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Attend 2 aa meetings a week. Sponsorship. Workout regularly. Get plenty of sleep. If around booze and alcohol and feeling uneasy - leave

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Good advice there in this threads

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Was bored at 2pm and would usually end up in the pub. Downloaded a podcast been wanting to listen to and walked 3 miles then home. I’m tired now and ready for my tea.

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Good question! I dont know if would call them “rules” persay, but I have things I do daily to keep my addictions at bay:

  • Prayer & readings 1st thing in the morning
  • An online meeting daily (I go to a diff fellowship for this tho for another addiction - but it still benefits my sobriety)
  • Daily movement/exercise
  • 3 healthy meals a day
  • I do something nice for someone each day and be of service to others struggling from addictions (it helps me get out of self which is crucial for my recovery)
  • A nightly review of my day. I use an app called “10th Step Nightly lnventory”, and i answer the questions about my day. Helps me to see where I can improve the next day.

I think thats about it. I have gotten complacent in the past when it came to recovery. Thats what caused my relapses. So knowing this now, i make sure to do something daily for my recovery :purple_heart:

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#1, I do something every day about my alcoholism, or it will do something about me.

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meetings and i sponsor but sobriety is a way of life i dont set rules just live my life ADAAT

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My rules are simple:

Accept that the person responsible for all my problems is myself.

Realize you are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with; choose wisely.

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One of my favorite sayings I first heard on this forum is “ if you hang around a barbershop long enough, sooner or later your gonna get your hair cut “ . Pretty sure it was from one of Ray’s posts - great advice!

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I wouldn’t call it a rule, but I spend time here on TS every day. In early days it was an immense amount of time and I read a ton of threads. If I was craving, I came here.

These days, well into my recovery, I read and interact less, but I am still here every day, and I think that helps me remember all that came before and how hard I fought for my sobriety.

Never give up, never surrender.

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Every day I do something for my recovery.

This is the easiest to access and its solid support.

Lately I’ve been enjoying AA meetings in Astoria when I can.

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A great conversation going here.

My personal rules have evolved and been added to gradually. For context, I am 42. The top 3:

  • I always thought growing up as a kid that it would be unacceptableto increase debt and spend money I didn’t have on drugs, alcohol, cigarettes, or gambling. I broke that for a little bit in 2021 and 2022, but not before or since.

  • My whole life, I had always resolved that when I became a parent, no kid of mine would ever see me drunk, and I would always be able to safely take care of them. I became a parent in 2023, and I haven’t broken that yet.

  • I pretty much always slept like crap during my heavy drinking years from early 20s to mid-late 30s. The science coming out over the last five or six years has been pretty damning for alcohol effects on sleep. I started tracking my sleep with a smart watch in 2023. What I saw has completely backed up the science, and I was able to rule out pretty much everything else. Consuming alcohol has a very measurable direct relationship on my sleep. Since then, my goal is to hit the bed sober at night. My relapses have all come with the full knowledge that I was gonna ruin the following day. Being a parent has made it clear that it’s not worth it. Personal rule: go to bed sober.

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The biggest thing for me to stay sober is it takes daily work. But my work isn’t only to be sober, I was broken. Every day starts and ends with gratitude, learning to be thankful for where I am in life and appreciating all the good in my life, small things more than the big, allows me to be content and happy with my life every day.

Striving to be a better person every day. Seeking out positive people, searching for good energy and providing good energy to those around me.

I have gone to 3-5 AA meetings every week for the last 15 months. Always new life lessons to learn at every meeting.

Grateful everyday that I am an alcoholic and after over 10 years of trying to be sober I have finally learned it’s so much more than not drinking.

One day at a time, every day.

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I’m willing to put as much time, money and effort into my sober life as I was my alcoholic life. Turns out, that’s quite a lot of energy right there.

I was willing to leave the old me behind, and risk finding a new person almost entirely. Half measures didn’t work.

Some days it requires very little, and some days it requires a lot. I try not to be too prescriptive about what I need day to day but there are two cornerstones I find useful:

Take everything one day at a time. Today I won’t drink. Tomorrow we’ll see.

Dopamine. I’m a dopamine addict. Do something every day that makes me feel fulfilled. Gym, seeing friends, service work, a special meal for my family, listening to an old record, listening to my kids…

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When I first got sober I sought out people with long term recovery and asked what they did. Those things were meetings and step work. So I went to meetings, got a sponsor, and did step work.

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In my very early days I was very strict about avoiding any scenario’s where alcohol was around. I still to this day insist alcohol does not enter my house. If my partner or his friends want to drink they can do it elsewhere. I also religiously checked in here twice a day and read around here everyday.
Not so much rules but habits I’ve developed to help me keep on track are

  • coming by here everyday
  • Practicing gratitude daily ( sometimes on the thread here and sometimes just on my own)
  • making time for a bit of self care everyday
  • Regular exercise / physical activity even if it’s just a walk
  • Daily journaling about my day
  • online meeting every Tuesday night
  • Listening to speaker tapes or sober podcasts from time to time
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May ask what online site you go to for online meetings?

Brutal honesty regarding myself. Without honesty, there is no recovery. The very second I start bullshitting myself is the first step towards relapse and active addiction.

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I gave my bank card to my wife to start. This stopped me from going out and getting alcohol when I had urges.

Kept a clean place, started eating more greens, stayed working. Started working out after work.

Ceased all contact with my drinking buddies, I let them know I had to and no hard feelings. Stayed out of bars, restaurants that have a bar and stopped going down the aisle in the grocery store thst had alcohol.

Its not an easy thing to do tbh. When youre addicted to alcohol and want to stop, your mind tends to not really want to do anything but drunk. You kljust got to push through it, get up, get to work, go for a walk, cook some food. Once you’ve forced yourself for a bit, it gets a lot easier. I noticed after three weeks of not drinking it got easier for me.

After 2 months I thought more clearly about everything and had more energy. Had a slip up. But not anywhere near what I would have drank before, amd that’s okay. There will be slips, its one of the hardest things to quit given how accepted it is in our society.

But dont beat yourself up. Admit it was a slip and tell yourself youre still going to get that goal of free from alcohol.

One tip I got for all of us here is. If youre an alcoholic, you cant go to being a social drinker. Many of us think we can, im one of them, tried many times in the past. But the truth is, we all have a disease, yes its a disease and we will always get back off track if we attempt to just have one or two.

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Remember that alcohol and those who would encourage you to use it are not your friends and do not mean well for you…

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