The ability to truly accept myself. I don’t need to look like everyone else, it’s OK to be who I am even if that looks different. 
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I can give myself the notion that I don’t have to do everything on my own. That I’m not alone. That we’re in this together.
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I didn’t ask for help, either. I didn’t want any extra attention on me, so I figured things out on my own. I definitely carried that into the first 30 years of my life. I now have a handful of people who let me know it’s ok if I need some help. I’m grateful for that.
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I can give myself a voice today. I speak up when I feel violated or disrespected and I speak up and talk about my feelings and acknowledge them
I can give myself self love (this is a work in progress today but I can start doing that)
I can give myself a connection with my HP. This is something I wish I connected to long ago
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Chocolate cake for breakfast! J/K. The feeling that I don’t have to please everyone and being ok with the fact that not everyone is going to like me. As long as I like me who cares.
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Ahhhhh YESSS!!! You are speaking to my soul girlfriend, love this! This is SUCH a great thread!
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Good question Carolyn… It’s really nice to see you around here whenever I do, you’re a true light beacon you are…! 
Love and commitment are the main ones for now… But that list is always growing and knows no bounds once you’re in motion… 
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It’s really good to see you, too. Being able to give yourself love is an important thing. Being raised in an oppressive (for me) religion, I was taught that I came last. And I did for a very long time, but thankfully that’s changing.
You’re right, the list is growing. Once you really stop and think about what you can give yourself now that you were unable to as a child… well, it’s a heck of a lot. 
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The ability to recognize and subsequently feel emotions. It took a while before I got past the “fine” phase and now it is really freeing to ask myself what I am feeling, put my emotion into words and sit with it until it passes. It feels mature and peaceful. 
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I love this. When I first got married, I was still in the “I’m fine” phase. My father-in-law would joke with me about it, so I started saying “I’m good.” 
It truly is freeing to know that we can give ourselves the space and time to feel.
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The gift of having a full grasp on the word “No.”
I say no to what I wish, when I wish, to whom I wish without the need to justify myself. No to hiding my own feelings and needs for others who just take without giving back. No to letting my voice not be heard when I think it is necessary, and not being intimidated, shamed, or otherwise convinced to stay silent because others don’t agree or like what I have to say or what I’m feeling.
I was taught on a deep subconscious level that my worth relied on how much I accomplished, how much I gave, putting my own needs aside for everyone else, even as I was told that I should believe the opposite. This made for a very passive aggressive and confused young adult.
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I understand this, and I have to say that since becoming sober I’ve gotten much better at saying no. I used to live my life waiting to be asked for help or being there before it was even asked. I placed a lot of self-worth on that and allowed others to use me. The first time I said no was pretty hard, but it’s getting easier. I’m learning who I am and what I want. It feels good.
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