FINISH THIS SENTENCE…
I’ll start us off. 
I don’t put pressure on myself to always be the happy one, the perfect one, or the quiet one. “I’m fine” was one of my most-used responses. Now I give myself the freedom to recognize and work through my depression. It’s been a great gift. 
I no longer feel the need to apologize for things that are beyond my control 
That’s a good one. As a kid, it’s scary to voice that we have a different view from grownups, so ending up with an “I’m sorry” was a go-to route.
Yes, very much so! Even with my peers I found myself constantly saying I’m sorry. I’m glad to be past the thought that I’m inferior. I apologize when it’s necessary but never for something I cannot control.
I can give my self respect that my parents never gave me. It was their way, or get lost. To have two selfish and neglectful parents is hard on a child, does deep damage. I can know the difference and respect myself now.
Exactly! I was going to add peers. We learn that behavior in childhood and carry it forward. My husband struggles with apologizing for everything… even when Chili’s forgot to put cheese on my burger. 
It’s a trait he picked up early on, but he’s really trying now to take notice.
That’s a wonderful thing to be able to give yourself. As a child and even into early adulthood, I believed self-respect and especially self-love was something I didn’t deserve. I felt self-love was actually wrong. I’m so glad we grow and our beliefs aren’t concrete.
I can understand that everything is not my fault, my father pointed fingers at his children and my mother as the reason why he wasn’t as successful as he could have been.
When I got older I had children, got a home, went to school and became successful despite having a family. It wasn’t as easy as if I was a 18 y/o with no obligations but I was able to do it.
But that was my transformation point, I was constantly told you can’t do anything but live work die, and I proved that was not the case
I feel that i can give myself time to express and process my emotions. Always felt rushed to get thing accomplished get better, to grow up, to always be doing something, now i can appreciate the aging process and just stop to smell the roses.
It’s such a hard fought notion though isn’t it. I often think some parents only want complete compliance from their kids. To transition from a powerless child into a fully whole adult with self respect is a really powerful thing. I have struggled with guilt really badly…I always used to revert to feeling in the wrong or desperately insecure about my actions or words.
Now I double down on truth, facts, different viewpoints. I’m estranged from both parents now. I’m choosing to respect me in this adult body. Shame is with them.
My ex-husband was a man like your father. It beats you down to hear those things all the time. But what you’ve accomplished proves he was wrong. It’s a good feeling to have faith in yourself and take that faith to levels far beyond anything that was expected of you. I’m happy for you.
You know, I don’t think I ever focused much on giving myself time to process anything, so I understand this. Since becoming sober, all of that is changing. I’m glad you’re taking the time to witness the beauty and good in your life.
You broke the cycle… Power to you.
Yes, it is a hard-fought notion. But your power is in overcoming that notion. I was raised in an extremely religious household, so my parents actually believed at the time that they were raising us to be better humans. Three out of four of us grew up broken and lost. I’m happy to say that we’re finding our way now. We are not our thoughts, and we certainly aren’t the thoughts our parents put in our minds. I feel it’s my privilege and also my responsibility to outgrow old habits and beliefs that don’t serve me. I’m glad you’re getting to that point, too.
Love. Compassion. Security. Knowledge that I’m not a bad or evil person. Hope.
I think of the meme of the little girl who stopped to smell the roses when ever i do and see myself face down in the bushes.
its nice to be able to stop and appreciate the beauty in life, its too short to worry about everything thats going wrong.
Yes Carolyn, and I’m grateful I feel this way rather than the skulking little hoodwinked younger version. It’s strong to set boundaries and to break abuse cycles. 
I hear you and feel you on that one. I had no idea how much of my childhood trauma I dragged into my adulthood. It’s taken a long time but I feel like I’m finally free of that. I no longer care what they think. I’m a way better me now!
I can ask for help. I never did that when I was a kid; didn’t really start doing it consciously until very recently. I like it 
