I’m on day 3, and wondering when I’ll have enough guts to get back out of bed, out of depression phase of guilt. I’ve been sulking for 3 days, watching recovery videos, scrolling, tv. No passion to clean or cook or anything, talk to people, nothing. 
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It gets easier. You have to keep getting up and going every day, but it does get easier.
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I am sorry to hear you are suffering, @Jacqueline1 
Did you experience depression prior to starting your sobriety too or has it come on since then?
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I’m not sure. But every time I drink I get depressed afterwards.
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Cant just lay around you need to push yourself to do things, even if they are small things. How long did you abuse your brain for? Cant expect it to be over with quick, you need to also put in work. You can do it, we all started there
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From personal experience, I feel that mental health is always worth discussing with a professional. Who knows, you may be suffering unnecessarily and/or indeed making sobriety more difficult because you are trying to fight two diseases at once. Makes sense?
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I guess that says it all. Congrats on being sober now Jacqueline. Seems to me the first step you already took by stopping drinking. Indeed the paradox of depression is that the main solution is getting yourself to do things. Like getting out of bed. Very small steps, one small activity at a time. And yes, maybe get some professional help as well. I’m glad you’re here. Coming here is a step as well. You’re doing stuff! Glad to meet you Jacqueline. We’re in this together. 
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Depression starts to lift as you start to forgive yourself.
You can’t control the forgiveness of others, and neither can you expect it. Forgive yourself, and move forward by honouring that forgiveness with effort and sobriety.
@Dirk I think you may have misinterpreted @Mike_Gee words. Mike is a great bloke who’s been through much, and pushed through much. There is experience in his words.
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For me, alcohol was insanely terrible for my mental health and yet it was the only thing that made me “feel better”. I would always be deeply depressed after drinking that I could barely be alone with myself.
I realized I had to step off of that carousel completely.
The first couple of weeks I decided to just sit with my depression, knowing that this was the only path out of it.
I know that everyone is different and everyone has their own brains and traumas, but I know for sure that the depression lifts the more you stick with your sobriety.
There’s so much to look forward to. I wish I could bottle up the real joy so people could sample what it is to come home to yourself, away from the poison.
Let yourself be depressed. Just don’t drink. Watch and see everything change like a blossoming garden. 
🩷
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Sending hugs
You can help the depression - which is a withdrawal symptom - by doing mini-tasks. Can’t do the dishes? Do one dish! Longing for connection but don’t want to talk? Text. No energy for chores? It’s ok, sitting with it knowing this will pass is enough. Tired? Sleep. Can’t sleep? Maybe a walk around the block or open the window and take 5 minutes of breath meditation in front.
Every little step counts. Been there, done that. You are not alone
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PSA: some people are depressed because they drink, others drink because they are depressed. For that second group, sobering up does not and will not cure depression (as I know all too well from personal experience).
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I didn’t mean for my response to sound so black and white as if addiction and depression aren’t nuanced and complicated.
I’m sorry you struggle with depression 
Out of curiosity, though quitting drinking didn’t cure depression for you, has it helped you cope with it better?
Could be PAWS.
You are on very early days. Just focus on sobriety, just focus on not drinking and every time it comes to your head think “thank god I am not drinking” or think positively like “yes! I have made it THIS far!”
Do not care about your cleaning or anything else at this stage, do not put that pressure on yourself, all you have to care about is the sobriety or you’re beating yourself up for no reason
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The answer can lie in if the depression is a symptom of withdrawal from addiction or a different underlying mental health issue. If it’s withdrawal related it will go away faster so long as you remain sober. Past that it’s best to seek professional help for your mental health.
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I thought I was going to spend my first week cleaning and cooking and getting everything sorted that I’ve been neglecting so long. Nope. I napped, a lot. I zoned out on the couch, couldn’t sleep, barely left the house. One day I felt like a little walk was manageable, one day a shower was good. I’m still in it, but at least I’m not hung over too? It’s hard dealing with picking up all the broken pieces, especially when you’re still in the start of recovery!
I hope you find what works for you, time, therapy, community, etc. And I hope you can be kind to yourself along the way! You’re already doing super hard things getting and staying sober.
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Thank you, I do not want to derail this thread further and am not ready to discuss my depression journey on here (yet?). What I will say is: sure, it’s easier to motivate yourself if you are ‘just’ depressed and not depressed and hungover, that’s a fatal double whammy.
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For me, the first week was a bit of a haze. I wasn’t ok and I couldn’t function. The physical withdrawal was somewhat mild, as in I didn’t need medical intervention, but was feeling like death warmed up. Couldn’t work, couldn’t sleep, couldn’t walk the dog, couldn’t function. I was a little blob of depressed nothing lying in bed and watching Netlix and reading about recovery.
All I knew was that I only had to get through this once. And I did. Each day things got a little bit better. Each day I didn’t go back to wine was a win. Everything else could wait. As long as I wasn’t drinking.
Sometimes, the only way out is through.
It’s hard to give a precise timeline, my withdrawal/PAWS lasted a lot longer than most people report. But trust me, it gets better. Eventually.
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You will have good and bad days, but you have to get up everyday and do little things. Brush your teeth take a shower eat breakfast. Do something no matter what it is keep busy. Well as long as it’s sober related. You got this!!
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