I’ve deadset lost all motivation to do anything I once enjoyed I know I need to do something but after this bout of sickness i just don’t feel the same about anything anymore not even training excites me anymore just feel like giving up on everything the worst part is my wife has no idea she keeps trying to get me to do things but my motivation is like my will to live non existent
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Please talk about it with your wife. If you keep it all inside it keeps boiling up and can lead to a relapse for sure.
Your still in the beginning of recovery.
I remember my mood went from very down to euphoric and back again too. At least for the first 3 months ore so. When leaving our doc behind we have to find a new balance on multiple parth of our life including our mental state.
I hope it’s just that and you will feel better soon. Talk about it with the people around you, it really helps. Maybe make a small task each day you wanna do? Motivated ore not, just do it. Doing a task and complete it releases dopamine as well. So increases the “feeling good” vibes.
Hope this above helps a bit too.
Take care 
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I’m not keeping anything from her it’s not her burden it’s mine it was my own fault I’m in this mess she doesn’t need to worry herself or our daughter with my head issues I’m slowly getting better maybe get away for the weekend just find one little thing I enjoy and go with it
Sounds like clinical depression to me. I feel it’s important to share stuff with your wife it’s not she is responsible or can even help it’s just you guys are in it together. And seek some professional help maybe? This stuff can be deep. Thanks for sharing here. Hugs.
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I know I’m depressed also know that none of that counciling shit works for me not gonna stop the hurt of losing 3 ppl in less then a week on top of fighting influenza A but as I said I’ll get through I always manage might not manage the same way I did but that’s part of the parcel yeah finding new ways to cope
You do you. I know for myself none of that counselling shit worked for me until I got sober and stayed that way. And it started working both ways. Take care.
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Hi Darrell. Glad you came here to share. This life is tough going sometimes. Things fall apart from time to time and then we are left with having to negotiate our way through the aftermath. We somehow muddle through. One step after another. Sending you strength and healing 
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I am sorry you are feeling this despair. I know how soul-crushing it can feel. During the year before my last drink, I went through one of the darkest periods of my life. Annual Seasonal Depression, compounded by grief over the death of my Mom, hitting 50, and entering what was probably the terminal phase of my addiction was destroying my marriage.
May I offer some perspective?
There are internals, and externals. There are past and continuing stresses. You have no control over the past, and only limited control over externals. The only ones you can control are the internals.
Your wife has relationship needs. You have responsibilities. You can choose to meet these to the best of your ability, even if the will to do so isn’t there right now.
You can choose to be happy and then work to be happy. See a professional about your depression. Tell your spouse what you are experiencing so she knows she is not guessing or thinking it’s her.
And choose to stay sober. Choosing sobriety was the first, best step I took. This was and is 100% within my control. Everything good in my life was built new or rebuilt on that foundation.
We are here for you.
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