Today’s marks 14 days of no alcohol. The longest I’ve done in 3-4 years. I honestly can’t remember the last time I made it 3 days without alcohol so this is huge for me.
Today is extra hard , I was in this huge argument first thing in the morning and got me real mad and I’m so close to just saying fuck it and just drink a bit to cool me down. I know that’s what I shouldn’t do and that’s why I decided to hop on and just let it out a bit.
Arguing over something so fucking small and stupid but it turns out to be a huge argument and makes me want to just do what I always did .. find comfort at the end of a bottle.. I’m not going to but I was fucking close .. so close I went to the liquor store and bought a pint of whiskey ( it’s 9am ) I had it in my hand , cracked the seal , right before I was about to drink .. I broke down .. haven’t broke down or let it out like that in years .. I poured it out and wasted 22$ haha. I’m proud I did that but I was so damn close it scared me , scared me I’ll go right back to what I was doing. Throwing away my sobriety for nothing but a argument and anger ..
What do you do when you get to that point ? I honestly was seconds away from taking a fat as swig with a nice iced coffee as a chaser .. sounds perfect at 9am .. but I fought it. I’m just scared next time it will be worse and I’ll resort back to the stupid ass bottle
That’s alcohol speaking it’s lies inside your head Mike. It won’t cool you down. Quite the opposite. Think it through. Next time stop yourself before entering the liquor store. Come here instead. Think of other healthy alternatives. Look for connection, as the opposite of addiction is connection.
Proud of you for not giving in. But damned close indeed. One day at a time friend. One crave at a time. Keep going. Hugs.
Wow that’s amazing! It takes some real strength on your part. Especially 14 days in. You should be so proud! and we’re proud of you!
Learning to deal with life without escaping it is like a muscle that needs to be exercised.
You survived that argument without giving in to your vice. Which means you know you can do it again.
And the fact that you allowed yourself to feel your feelings is really important.
Life isn’t always pleasant and it’s never going to be forever easy, so learning to accept the hard moments and experience them is a powerful place to step into. And you did it today!
I think it’s transforming when we learn to integrate our shadow rather than suppress it with our DOC.
You have to retrain your thinking that alcohol fixes the problem. To @Mno point, the drink doesn’t cool you down. In fact it could compile the issue and only make things worse.
For me, I remove myself from the situation. Take a walk to clear my head. We have to remember that nothing that happens to us is worth taking that first drink.
Have to sit in your feelings and be uncomfortable at times, it’s not fun but does get easier over time.
Glad you dumped it out, that is a huge win! Stay strong and just know it’s not worth it!
Best invested 22 $ pour-out
Fucking close and a huge win.
There are threads on anger management, you can search for the keyword.
Me? I flipped out, learned to fucking cool down as I needed my energy elsewhere and tussled with my temper, alcohol as unhealthy coping mechanism and the deep urge to do better for years. Those were quite loud discussions with myself, including all tools you can find here on TS as tools for recovery. All. My favourite ones were deep cleaning the toilet and beat a pillow until exhaustion to take off the edge.
The really helping ones in the long run were therapy, journalling, meditation and developing kindness towards myself. Removing the flipout trigger aka my ex for good was the keystone for building a life I feel safe, secure, stable and balanced.
Just my 2 cent.
Keep going, keep sober
Emotions only last for 90 seconds. When you get heated, take a break. Go for a walk, breathe, meditate, do as many push-ups as you can in 90 seconds… as long as you can pull yourself from the situation, pivot your thinking and attention to something else, the hormones that are responsible for the bad feelings will go away in 90 seconds.
Mike, do you have IRL supports that you can call in a situation like this? AA is a fantastic way to make contact with others by phone, text or in person, when the crazy thinking starts up. You can reach out here as well, the important bit is to reach out BEFORE you take any action, not so much after. We here, and the people in AA, understand that emotions can be out of proportion to the circumstance, and that in early sobriety, it’s hard to process feelings and thoughts.
You’ve gotten lots of great feedback here already, so I hope you might react in a more healthy way next time.
Right this: you let it out and allowed yourself to express and feel your feelings instead of covering them with a drink. Well done, friend. That 22$ have been invested in your resistance and that’s just amazing.
There are so many ways how to feel and express feelings. Find your way, and consider some help, from therapy, books,a recovery program… It‘s a journey and you need a variety of tools, so you can choos which one is best for you.
Great job not giving in Mikeal! Boy it sounds like it was a very close call too. Had it cracked open and everything? Scary Part of our recovery is changed behavior and you did it.
I would run out for a power walk listening to Eminem or some other loud angry music. Or take a real long hot shower when things like that would happen to me.
Each time we change that behavior, as hard as that is to do, it will eventually get easier. It does take time. I couldn’t unlearn 40 years of drinking behavior in a short time. It’s taken me awhile. But it is easier now.
Huge congrats on pouring it out and finding support here. Thats you strengthening your sober muscles! Emotions are tough to navigate especially new to sobriety! You arent alone
The last time i drank following an arguement resulted in my being hospitalised for the night, ive not done it since, in answer to your original question anything … anything that doesnt involve drinking, thankfully there are sooooo many alternatives like coming here and talking it out like youve done, i applaud you
Part of our recovery is changed behavior and you did it.