Nothing wrong with being cautious, bub. I had a tendency to see it as a negative thing about myself, too. Sometimes I still do. It can be tiring to be cautious, always thinking things through and everything carefully measured out before taking action.
However, I try to look at this way – far too many people just fuckin “wing it” without thinking things through first. Maybe sometimes it pays off, but plenty of other times it results in disaster or a less-than-ideal result. Sometimes I envy those who can just wing it, it seems less tiring and less stressful, but being someone who is careful has served me well on more than a few occasions.
I wish they would! As long as they don’t throw any bible categories at me. Everything else I usually do pretty well. Get the final question correct more often than not.
Recorded that “battle of the greats” (or whatever it’s called) from last night, where they’re pitting the top 3 Jeopardy contestants ever against each other to see who can win 3 games first (Holzhauer, Jennings, and I don’t know the other guy). I figure Holzhauer will mop the floor with 'em.
Awesome! I encourage you to do it, it really is helpful. For some reason, doing it as an exercise kinda forced me to give myself “permission” to appreciate myself, in a weird way.
Love it! Solid list. I like that you wrote yours out too, for the same reasons. I also find when I write something by hand I’m more mindful of the content, and it sticks in my head better, so I think it actually amplifies the effectiveness.
For people who are struggling with seeing there qualities…
I just thought of a tool/theroy I used to practice when I was a teammanager.
The idea is that anything faulty is the result of to much of something good. And you can very well find your qualities by reverse engineering these core quadrants. It was my way to get my team members from disfunction to function in the team.
Check the video if you want to try it… Welcome to shoot examples my way.
I’m bookmarking this. Awesome thread James! It gives us all a reminder to step back and really look at ourselves, find the great values and appreciate who we are.
I’ve guess I never really thought about it but I’d have to go with extreme… Yep, I’m a bit extreme… I can do extremely good or extremely bad… Really not much in between on that with me for some reason… All of my effort goes to the one I feed… Most of the time I go with feeding the good… I’m trying real hard to starve the bad…
I’m also pretty good at putting on someone else’s shoes for size, trading places and even giving up my spot and taking the back seat if needed…
It’s a hard one for sure since it is quite easy to hate yourself when you keep letting yourself down and not coming through on your promises.
Or worse, when you don’t finish what you’ve started.
This a very tough question for me.
I can easily answer it when talking about someone else, so great question!
What i DO like about myself is that i write, (some days i impress myself, other days i feel its nothing but derivative shit…)
I draw, (not as well as before…)
Play guitar,
Work out,
Meditate,
And read a lot.
Anything else that i would like to put down would sound like i am tooting my own horn, so instead, i listed things i can do fairly well.
…honest
friendly
fair
humorous
optimistic
enthusiastic
open to new stuff
reliable
creative
like to laugh
like to learn
I always try to see the good in the bad
understanding
patient
Not drinking allows more space (inside)… if that makes sense. I feel more present for myself, my spouse, my family, & my work. I like living in the moment. My moments are cool.
There is a time and a place for everything, in my opinion. We act based on what our thoughts are, so I do see value in addressing thoughts as well as action. This exercise isn’t meant to offer false flattery to self, but to evaluate strengths and build on those. If I think I’m worthless and useless, I don’t think it’s worth it to try positive action. If I can see value and strength, I understand what I have to offer others. It all feeds into each other, thoughts and action.
Your actions in general also define you as someone who helps others stay sober, encourages and supports people, makes time to be of service, makes meaningful connections with people, and engages in self improvement.
I bookmarked this thread at the time hoping to have something to add to it soon. I’m still not really there. I can think of things I’m good at and worthwhile stuff that I do, but that isn’t the same.
Anything that I would see as positive in someone else, I have a negative qualification attached when I apply it to myself. It’s strange to me that I can see that, but can’t seem to shift my thinking yet.
Edit, I realise that is a perfect example - I am self aware, but use that as a way of putting myself down 🤦😂
I wonder if you can use this to reflect on what makes you tend to think/behave in that way — that could be just as useful to think on as self-appreciation would be. At any rate, if you still want to revisit it some other time, maybe try re-applying the bookmark, the new Discourse update lets you add reminders to bookmarks when you create them!
Gonna write something later when I’m home
