In recovery we are trying to become better versions of ourselves. But it can be difficult, uncomfortable, and demanding of our patience, and discouragement can seep in. Moreover, self love is often a struggle for those of us with addiction.
As part of the work I’ve been doing on my mental health, I’ve been asked to write a list of attributes I like about myself. As I started doing it, it brought up thoughts about the person I am and why I want to fight so hard to create a better life for him. I thought, maybe I’ll share this exercise in case it does the same for someone else.
Maybe your tendency is to view only your faults. Maybe you struggle to see why you’re special. Maybe you want to get a better picture of what you’re trying to uncover in you now that you’re peeling off the burdens of addiction. If you think this could be useful for you to do, I encourage you to post your own list below. Remind yourself who you’re doing this for.
P.S. One barrier that sat in my way was fearing that people would see me as egotistical, attention-seeking, or bragging if I shared this. All I can do is say my intention is only to share some “positive psychology” (it’s an actual subfield of psychology, FYI) benefits with other forum members, and let people think what they want to think. (Don’t worry about it yourself, I’m coming out and asking you for this information, you’re off the hook )
I’m still working on my list but I’ll post it later when I get time. But go ahead! What attributes do you like about yourself?
Fantastic exersize. In early recovery my higher power showed me I needed to learn how to love myself. Part of that has been finding out who I really am.
About myself I love
-My capacity to forgive. My willingness to accept a power greater than me, the love I have for myself, others, and life. My spirit, my purpose.
I know, right? That’s part of why this intrigues me so much. The harder it is, the more worthwhile it might be… No pressure to share it publicly, though we’d really love to see it.
I’m getting good conversations out of it. Not just self esteem but addressing questions of identity and purpose and figuring out what I want from life. It gives all sorts of places to go from there.
It’s a great topic and so important for those of us that have spent decades loathing our selves.
I hated myself for so long and was suicidal for a long time as well. Those days are behind me now and there are many things I now like and even love about myself. That is a true blessing.
In all honesty, I am not comfortable sharing it on here as there are members who are not fans and it doesn’t feel safe for me. And that is okay, not everyone has to like me. I do think it is an important topic for us all to ponder tho. So thanks!
I love that this has happened for me in sobriety. I remember thinking about how my life was and thinking it would still suck, just without alcohol. But no, having an unclouded mind for a sustained period of time started revealing so much good that I couldn’t see before. This would almost certainly have been a much shorter list if I’d tried to do it at the beginning or before.
This is a great exercise. I’m going to give it a go today and then reflect on the ones that my addition robbed and how those characteristics have returned. I need some extra motivation at the moment as I’ve been finding the past few days more of a struggle and have had several drinking dreams that I haven’t had for ages. Don’t know if it’s due to Christmas/New Year, passing the one year mark or my subconscious warning me not to become complacent but I think this will be good for me. Thanks for posting
As I was working my way through step 4 this was one of the harder things to dive into after working on all the negs off me.
My favored attributes.
I am Kind. I am Openminded. I am Helpful
I am Caring. I am a leader when needed.
I am a teacher. I am willing
I forgive. I care about others. I am emotional
People tend to share with me. I am the best father I can be. I can be bold. I can be cautious.
And the attribute I am most happy with which helps me in my new way of living is my honesty.
All and all I think I am being much more balanced then I was once.
I love this! On a group im in on facebook this was an idea and we were to write 150 things we love about ourselves… easier said than done…
Mine would be my determination to change, my ability to forgive
Awesome idea for a post, my friend, and I love that shiny new mod icon next to your name
This is a good exercise for someone like me who has a tendency to be hard on themself. I waste a lot of time ruminating on my perceived flaws, and very little time (if any) recognizing my better qualities.
I liked that you wrote yours out by hand. It makes it more personal and seeing people’s handwriting is always interesting. So, that’s how I did mine. It also prevents me from editing my list
I am absolutely fantastic about being negative about myself.
Seriously, I really struggle with this. But many of u are putting cautious, which I am, but I always thought of it as a negative thing.
I love my kids, and try to be a good parent.
I pay attention to other people’s feelings.
)
