Last night I went to see a friend and have dinner. We had chef salad and with that I had 4 gin and cranberries. Which isnt a lot for me sadly. Since I’ve started this journey I’ve slipped one night and had 2 beers and another night and had a bloody mary. Then there was last night. The first time I was 12 days in this time 3.
Ediit: even with other things I’ve had to face in my life I didn’t always conquer it the first second or even third round. I kept trying. I am very new to this,any advice is helpful. I’m assuming we are here not only to celebrate success but to share our failures so that we can own them,learn and share helpful advice and do better
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Hi.
You say you slipped. Others would say you haven’t stopped drinking yet.
Some would say a relapse is one drink, others that it’s a period of drinking after a period of sobriety.
Have you read anything on here about what you need to do?
Have you looked at any programs that can help you?
I’m sorry, but I don’t know what you are prepared to do, hence the questions.
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Thanks for response and support
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That’s what we are here for.
Keep coming back. A favourite saying of mine is it works if you work it.
Hi Angie, it seems you are at the very start of your journey, which good on you to have started! What you need now is information on what to be prepared for, how things might feel/change, listening to others, sharing your own story to find similarities, the support you say you are looking for. This can happen here but also in live meetings. You also need to learn to really look at yourself and start an ongoing inquiry into you own reasons, motives, emotions, thoughts behind the drinking. This is not going to happen over night and neither could it, but just make a start to reflect and try and perceive how you feel around the drinking, what goes along with it inside you. This is for when you’re staying sober.
Seeing you are still drinking at the weekend, it would be helpful to find some determination, some inner resolve. Why did you drink then? Maybe write it out and find out how you stand towards it. If you really want to quit you will have to make changes, too. Maybe not seeing the same ppl for a while, telling ppl you’re not drinking, doing other or lesser activities for a while, all helpful tools. If you use the magnifying glass up at top of this app you can research what others have done and recommended here. It’s an absolute mountain of information and experience you can benefit from. The journey starts with yourself. All the best.
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Hello I spent years trying to quit drink and drugs so pleased never give up I had to change people places and things that would trigger my drug use its hard work to begin with but so definitely worth it. Have u tried any aa meetings? They are a great way to meet soba friends and have people around us to help with recovery . Also this app is great to offload our struggles so keep reaching out x
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Thank you so much. Drinking has been a huge part of my social life and it so foreign to me when I am around people and am not drinking even if I’m not getting “drunk”. I am trying to find that comfortabllity being totally sober while in social situation again without feeling something is missing. I may have to take a step back for a while.
I haven’t tried meetings. The friends that I have confided in that I am trying to stop drinking have suggested them. But I get so nervous doing things like that. But it may be very helpful. Thank you.
I was the same i put off going to meetings too but I was so welcomed to the fellowship. I sobbed my heart out the first time I ever went to one!!! They really do change lifes around x
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I totally get you. I had such low self esteem none of my friends had seen me or spoken to me sober in years. Being comfortable being amongst ppl sober is growing for me, it’s now at a point where I could never have thought it could be. I’m seven months sober. Things are still umcomfortable and but everything I can do. Progress not perfection. Stick at it and be kind to yourself at the same time.
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Might be time to take a pause in the social scene. It would appear that you have no defenses against picking up that first drink. You probably continue to relapse if you don’t make some changes to the way you live.
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Are the spaces between the slips or the amount u drink in the slips getting more? That might be a sign u are really losing control, and u have to make a big change.
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See, it’s going to take a good long time to be totally comfortable being sober in not just social situations, but every situation.
We can justify drinking in just about every situation. Happy? Celebrate with a drink. Sad? Drown your sorrows with a drink. Stressed? Relax with a drink. Angry? Let off steam with a drink.
We’ve done this for so long, we’ve forgotten what we once knew how to do. Remember that first day of school when you were 5? Didn’t need a drink to get through that. How happy where you when you got your first bike? Didn’t need to celebrate with a drink. A grilled cheese and tomato soup used to be enough on a rainy day. Didn’t need a beer or wine to “complete the meal”
For now, learn to be comfortable being uncomfortable.
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Good advice! “Learn to be comfortable with being uncomfortable” thank you
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Thank yo for sharing that!
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