What is time, what isn’t time? Time to me, is a series of days. A series of motions and emotions. A series of healing and hurt. A series of oppurtunities. It is by no means easy. It is not gradual. It is not always kind and, it is not at all replaceable. It’s ruthless, granting no one mercy and very few second chances. But despite it’s cruelty, it’s a loyal friend. Only time can start to heal a broken heart or a crushed soul. It can bring an end to a bad day, it can help us overcome obstacles we never thought possible. It is the most hated, but also the most loved. We all fight over it, time, begging for it’s attention. We are constantly asking for more of it, but there is only so much of it to go around. It is a mystery, in this moment, we are surrounded by it. It belongs to nobody but yet, it is still everybody’s. No one wants to share or waste their piece of it. We are stingy with it, or at least we try to be. It is time who gives us the gift of tomorrow. And it is time that decides when tomorrow, will never come again for each of us. Sitting here I find myself thinking about Daniel and how time was not on his side. How he has no idea what this last year has felt like. I’ve come to realize that the gift of time is never truly given. It is borrowed, it willingly lets us borrow from it, hoping we can make it count. Because for anything that is borrowed, it must be returned one day. I wonder how does one live a life well… I don’t think there’s a definite answer. But I’ve had the chance to understand that life is an enigma, one that is worth unravelling, exploring and living. I have feared the uncertainty of it, I’ve now been learning to enjoy it. It might seem long, but life goes by in a flash, in the snap of a finger. And to truly relish it, you must live it with passion, confidence and integrity. I’ve learned that you can plan all you like, yet life will still come and punch us right in the face. Time and then Love are the most precious things we are given in this lifetime. The two things we all wish we had more of and yet we squander them. Life is a gift, so is our sobriety, it is never something that is a given. We must learn to enjoy every second while we’re here. Because time gives us so much, then we blink our eyes, and it takes it all back. What a fragile, humbling thing, to simply just be alive❤️
I learned so much from Daniel in the eleven years we were together, and I’ve learned so much from him still during this last year, as I’m navigating life without him. I miss him just as much as I did that first day he left. There is not a single day that goes by where I don’t think of him in some way. I’ve changed so much through it all… I honestly don’t even think he’d recognize the girl he married, all those years ago anymore. I’m thankful. I’m sad. I’m joyful and I’m healing. Life is beautiful and I know I’ll be ok. Even on my darkest days. I hope he’s happy wherever he is, I can’t wait to see him again someday. Until then, I’ll just be here rediscovering this amazing thing we call life, and raising my babies the best I can❤️
Hey 
Saw where you said you were struggling on the meme thread. I Didn’t want to post there.
I see you started another thread here. You are such a great writer. You express your thoughts wonderfully.
You know, since I’ve seen you come on here you have shown so much strength and hope. And I bet you battle each day to survive for you and your children.
I’m glad you felt safe here to mention you were struggling today. Or at least to me on that meme. I’m no therapists and I try not to give advice here. Just lead with my own stories and experience.
Although our stories are vastly different, whenever I get vulnerable on the forum and let it out, I always feel just a little bit better. I hope as you keep coming back and build some trust with some of us here you will feel that way too. Maybe you already do.
You’re a gem 
You got so much to offer us in recovery. I hope you find TS as magical a recovery place as I do.
Rest easy tonight.
Give those kids a big hug.
