What Keeps Me Going

I’ve been a binge drinking on/off over the last 20 years. It got worse when I met my husband as he is also a heavy drinker. I was able to stop drinking during fertility treatments, my pregnancy, & for a decent amount of time after I gave birth. Then, I just suddenly started up one night & have been struggling to stop again. I do well during the week but struggle with the weekends. I knew this coming weekend would be hard so I decided to really focus on what my motivation is to stay sober. It boils down to being there for my daughter & by ‘there’ I m an alive. I nearly died after childbirth due to a blood clot that traveled to my lungs & am a lifer on blood thinners. I’m also an orphan who experienced life without my parents at a young age. They both died of lung cancer & I remember thinking why couldn’t they quit smoking. I don’t want to repeat the cycle where I put my health at risk & miss out on seeing her grow up.

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You are not alone - there are many mothers here on Talking Sober, and they love their children just as you do, and choose to live healthy (sober) partly so they can be present with their kids.

I can only imagine what it must have been like to grow up orphaned at such a young age. It is so hard to have to face that alone. I can understand why you are making the choice to get sober and live in recovery. You can do it, one day at a time. It is a learning journey :innocent:

Welcome to Talking Sober!

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