I was a drinker for years, it never occurred to me I could be an alcoholic cause I thought I could quit when I want just like I did with drugs, I could pick them up and put them down whenever I wanted, so alcohol should have been the same
Then I tried stopping drinking. And I couldn’t I rationalized real quick I had a good job, I could manage just had a alcohol problem. Then my life started to unravel, and I lost control. So I went to detox in hopes of “an oil change” get the DTs over with and get back out there with a clear mind, I ended up going to rehab, and still believed it was gonna be a temp fix, I was about 6 months sober before I realized I needed to stay with
Everything revolved around drinking, when was the next drink, what was it going to be? A wine, a beer, a cocktail… straight… shots, it was all just excuses to continue drinking…
I remember wanting to vacuum but had to be drinking to do it, wtf
I decided I wanted to ‘be there and show up sober’ for myself and for others who depended on me.
I remember literally thinking that there just could not possibly be any LIFE left if I wasn’t drinking.
How could I do LIFE and not drink… but decided to take the chance and see.
As it turns out once I got away from it a little, I was very happy to not have the headaches, hangovers and constant ‘to do’ list that drinking entailed.
Not drinking was what was right for me. I had had my share and there was not an end in sight until I said
“I Quit, I am done”.
I had an easier time of it than my friends did of me not drinking. I said adios, adios, adios.
When I realized that all my attempts to find joy and happiness in my life were absolutely useless as long as I was drinking and hoping for an easy escape. I only started actually working on what was wrong with my life, when I put down the bottle for good. I am forever grateful for the day I managed to do that.