My son Elijah is my reason!! Of course I have soooooo many, but he is absolutely at the top of the list. I need to be sober so I can be the best mom for this magnificent boy, and build the best life for us. The world is scary and confusing enough — ain’t no way I’m gonna amplify that for him by being an active addict! I have a choice and I choose greatness for my son, myself, and everyone/everything we touch. Thank you Elijah for being the biggest motivator for my sobriety. I love you kid!
My faith is my reason. To me, faith is like polishing the mirror. The more the mirror is polished, the better it reflects the light (the light can be a lot of different things depending on the person or the situation, but the point is, muddy mirrors don’t reflect light or pass it on). My addiction is dirt and stains on the mirror. My recovery is polishing it to a good shine, and maintaining that shine, one day at a time.
OMG Julia – what an adorable little man. Love the name too
my reason(s) - i want to live a long and healthy life. i need to get rid of all this poison i’ve accumulated over the years and get back in shape. i need to find that spiritual connection which can’t be done when we are chasing our demons. i want to not be dependent on anything / anyone.
My reasons? So many to list, but here’s at least a few…
I didn’t like the person alcohol turned me into.
I was tired of the guilt and anxiety.
I didn’t want to destroy my organs. Winding up in the ER with a pancreatitis attack was a major wakeup call for me.
I was missing out on special moments because I was too busy getting myself plastered.
I didn’t want to risk getting a DUI.
I didn’t want to see that disappointment on my wife’s face anymore.
My spirituality was suffering because of the shame I felt.
I want to be present at all times to everyone in my life.
After all this time i just want to outlive my three brothers who have passed away in the last 5 years might be selfish but at 71 i know im on the road to the long sleep and i want everyday to be special , fill my days keep busy ,
What a grateful gorgeous reason for your sobriety Julia.
I know a lot of people might say we have to do it for ourselves. I feel whatever reason keeps us sober is a good reason. After we get some time then we can start doing it for ourselves and our precious children or whatever reason got us on our sober journey.
It just brings to mind when I left my daughter at her 3rd rehab 12 years ago. She made it clear she wasn’t doing it for herself but she’d do it for us. Her mom and dad. 12 years later she’s still clean from heroin.
To stay on topic.
My first post and reason was:
After 45 years of drinking, fat, drunk, and hungover was no way to enter my bronze years. I was turning 60.
I just thought of another reason - and I think this one is closer to the heart for me:
Learning how to feel good without my addiction.
In my addiction I’ve been feeding myself fake good feelings - “good” feelings that are not fulfilling; fake “good” feelings that don’t require any effort and don’t represent any achievement - and it’s been going on so long that I don’t know what it feels like (physically or mentally or emotionally) to work for a good feeling.
I don’t know how to walk the path of effort to achievement and to feeling good, as a result of achievement, as a result of effort and connection (connection with an achievement, or connections with people).
I want to learn how to feel good. I’m just starting to see the veil that’s been over my eyes, blinding me. I want to tear that off so I can achieve things, connect, and feel good for real.
These two littles of mine. My husband, their daddy, passed away August 2022 of a fentanyl overdose. On that day I promised my babies, myself and Daniel I would never use again, I would not leave my children with no parent. As of today, I have kept that promise and by the grace of God, I will continue to remember the hell we had so comfortably made our home and I fought so hard to crawl my way out of.
My reason is my baby girl. She’ll never know me as a drunk like my other kids did. She’ll never be let down because I was too drunk to come home, or too hung over to go… She’ll never go to bed hungry because Dad passed out before making dinner. She’ll never miss school because Dad was too sick to get up. I may have messed up raising my other kids, but not this one, this one will get the best version of me.
I am loving reading these reasons, and seeing all these absolute cuties
I am going to sound enormously self-absorbed but my main reason is for me. I am of course doing it for my kids, but the reason that seems to keep me grounded this time is working on me, being sober as self care. Long term I want to be healthier and ensure I am around for my kids, but short term it is getting to know the real me. @Matt your reasons really resonated with me. I haven’t been experiencing real life.
My reason originally was to save my marriage. Early in journey I found
I needed to save myself. I was in a dark place and completely hopeless. I believed I was better off dead. Being alcohol free and adjusted medication I look forward to my days.
Personally, if my reason isn’t myself? As noble as doin’ it for my son, my mom, my sister, my friends (and all that) is … I’ve already tried those reasons, multiple-multiple times. And, multiple-multiple times, I failed.
That’s those “cunning, baffling & powerful” aspects of MY disease of addiction: I’ve looked ALL of those aforementioned people dead-in-the-eye and vowed to “Never use, again” and each time, I truly meant it. Then, days or weeks (USUALLY, only hours) later, I was feedin’ that Beast and his minions, again.
It wasn’t until I was so broken and defeated and, most importantly, wanted it for ME that I’ve been able to put together any kind of time. It’s been just a few days more than 7 months, but it’s the first time, in. my. life., that I’ve had that meager/not-so-meager amount of time.
And now, I cherish my Clean Date because if I throw THAT away, I’ll throw everything else away. Again. And, I don’t wanna do that because I’ve earned a modicum of trust back from my mom, my sister and my 2 lifelong friends. My son still won’t have anything to do with me and THAT’S extremely painful. However, I just have to keep doing the Work, not use, do the next right thing(s) for the right reason(s) and HOPE that one day he’ll let me back into his life. It’s outta my control. I’m also working on having faith that it’ll happen.
So many reasons, but I just woke up and feel wonderful. I was at work the other day in the break room, and a coworker went in the bathroom and I can hear the dry heaves. That was the worst person if I would have drink, I’d be doing that right now.
wow you guys, it’s such an honor reading your shares. you are all such strong scholars and warriors and i salute you!
i definitely hear those of you who have stated that reasons outside of us are sometimes unsustainable - i totally get that. i know it is ultimately personal, the most personal and intimate thing, finally wanting to get right within, primarily for our own wellness and growth. that is absolutely true for me too - my ultimate reason. and so i would say my son is my ultimate “external” motivator
again i want to thank you all for your shares, it is so powerful and inspiring to get a glimpse into your journeys and all that you’ve faced and overcome, and the deepest desires for life that brought us here. i’m honored to walk this path with you all.
Yesterday I told my husband I haven’t seen the inside of toilet bowl for 2 1/2 months. To know vomiting was part of my daily life and accepted is really sick. Life so much better now.
